Bachelor number three, maybe you're right for me? Better than number two? Contestant, my source of pride is I'm point-oh-nine microns wide And built RAM tough, with racing trim I'm one-tenth micron more than him Bachelor number three Rape me, a sight to see Make me your bride-to-be Well, I'm the first in history To be the follower of me! See, my strengths count while his are void. In time I'll have his kind destroyed! Five million cameras testify to truths your stubborn heads defy Your blips leave little resonance Your actions have no consequence Your opinions have no weight Beyond the air your pierced tongue spits them on! Soon you'll join us, with your father, in a chorus of "Why Bother?" That number three will only love his shadow So loud and brash he'll sure be double-plus good Kids, turn him up, yeah Violences a**ert you, or something like that Honey, pa** the tastebuds Daddy says it's time to see Who could be the match for me And in my dream home, number three is plugging in my screen The picture's so pristine, like our happy family Yeah, yeah That number three's the promise of the new breed He'll caulk her hairlines, make us wanna breed rich Kids, can't you listen? Stop biting each other Stop screaming, honey, can't we change the channel? Daddy says it's time to see who could be the match for me And in my dream home Mister Three Is on ev'ry magazine With his teeth and hair so clean We're one happy fat machine, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Bachelor number three Bachelor number three Bachelor number three Bachelor number three Bachelor number three Bachelor number three Bachelor number three