Colt45 - My Name Is (Pony Version) lyrics

Good morning ladies I mean students... Can I have the attention of the cla** for one second Alright kids, your normal teacher Ms. Cheerilee is away So instead I'll be the one that'll be poisoning your minds today And before you go on saying that I totally stole this premise Shut up, I'm not that stupid, I'm just completely senseless I just thought it was a funny concept like sticking a dick in a feminist Like everypony's favorite royal demigoddesses and incest (What are you, a dictionary?) No b**h, a ghetto visionary Keep it up and I'll drop your sh** like a case of dysentery So, today's lesson is Hip-Hop 101, let's begin It's all s**, money, murder, actual content is thin Step one, get more ponytail than a certain rainbow-haired lesbian Then make an art out of the drama like a regular thesbian I mean, Yelling At Cats? Could rapping really be that easy? Opal, get the f** over here and eat your goddamn Friskies Hey, I think it's working, I can feel the fire within me Oh wait, that's just my whiskey... And speaking of whiskey, I think this bottle's almost gone Let me grab another one, here kid, hold my gun For the record, I'm not an alcoholic all the time It's just that I tend to prefer friendship of the liquid kind I mean half you little freaks look like you might pull a Columbine Oh geez, you're a little young for that, nevermind Uh, just give me my gun back, seriously, it's mine I've never hit a filly before, but damn it you're sure trying God, when they said this cla** was special they weren't lying Aw, sh**, no! Don't start crying! Listen kids, school won't teach you jack sh** That science and math horsesh**, hell, it's all magic Don't just chew gra**, smoke that sh** and cut cla** C'mon, live a little and squeeze some a** I mean do you really want a tramp stamp that makes your special talent "flowers?" That's how alicorns keep you down, man, blank power! Tell you what, how 'bout I teach y'all some street smarts Pay close attention, no joke, cause hustling is an art First thing's first, give your step just a little bit of swag Spread your legs, drop your pants and let them britches sag Oh yeah, no pants, uh, no worries, wear mine Yeah, then just throw up your fingers in a gang sign Oh for f**'s sake, just get yourself a nine Why? So you can commit crime, that's why What, you thought it was all friendship and fairy magic? That's tragic, do yourself a favor and bag it Out here the street's real, you learn quick how to steal A pony's gotta do what she needs to eat a meal I used to have the princess sweating and starving me But now I rock the elements of Bone Thugs-N-Harmony Peace to Rainbo Hash, #RAREity and Pinky-P Fluttershady, LoJack and Notorious D.-er-P Putting the harm in harmony ever since I had a tape drive Spitting sick licks sticking it in 'em like steak knives Dropping the illest lyrics you've ever heard anypony write But that should be expected for a pony as best as Twilight