Clutch - The Great Outdoors lyrics

TO ALL YOU LASSES IN PARNASSUS SWALLOWING SWORDS, SHOOTING OUT FIRE AT US HEATHEN HORDES I WAS THINKING SOMETHING BEFORE I BEGAN BUT THEN YOU DONE CUT OFF BOTH OF MY HANDS NOW I DO MY DRINKING FROM BAMBOO STRAWS CONSTANTLY KICKING AT TARANTULAS WHAT WAS I THINKING, MOVE TO BALTIMORE?… OH YEAH, THE GREAT OUTDOORS! JUMP INTO THE WATER KEEL-HAULED ON THE CONSTELLATION DON'T SELL MY BELONGINGS BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT I'LL BE BACK REMEMBER WHEN I TOLD YOU THAT I WAS A SAMURAI? WELL, THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS THAT WAS A LIE THERE WERE SOME OTHER THINGS THAT I'D RATHER NOT RECALL Y'ALL CAN BLAME IT ALL ON THE ALCOHOL BUT YOU AIN'T GOT NO BUSINESS CRITICIZING ME THIS IS MY HOUSE AND I'LL DO AS I PLEASE WHAT WAS I THINKING, MOVE TO BALTIMORE?… OH YEAH, THE GREAT OUTDOORS! JUMP INTO THE WATER KEEL-HAULED ON THE CONSTELLATION DON'T SELL MY BELONGINGS BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT I'LL BE BACK MOVE IT ON OVER AND GIVE ME A SLICE IF YOU'RE IN THE MARKET FOR GREEN ZUCCHINI FARMER'S ALMANAC GOT THE LARGEST SIZE WINNEBAGO WOMAN WHAT YOU COOKING? MOVE IT ON OVER AND GIVE ME A SLICE I'D BE A RICHER MAN TODAY IF IT WEREN'T FOR PHYSICS IF I COULD LEVITATE I WOULD SELL LOTS OF TICKETS AND MAYBE DO AN INTERVIEW WITH LARRY KING WHILE FLOATING I'D BE A RICHER MAN TODAY IF IT WEREN'T FOR PHYSICS IF I COULD LEVITATE I WOULD SELL LOTS OF TICKETS MOVE IT ON OVER AND GIVE ME A SLICE