Cledus T. Judd - 270 Somethin' lyrics

Wooo (spoken) You know a man does have to eat him somethin' I love candy bars...eat them all the time My combo meal's are super-sized And I crave the stuff they put inside those dang ding dongs mmmm My cholesterol is off the chart I keep a blood pressure cuff on my left arm Doctor says that my poor heart won't last too long My nickname in school was double wide Cause my momma fried... Now I weigh 270 somethin' Always huffin and puffin Lay around the house all day No wonder I can't lose no weight See that pizza on the TV Oh man don't it look cheesy You know they deliver here for nothin' That's why I weigh 270 somethin' My insurance said that they'd co-pay I made the same appointment Carnie Wilson made Plastic surgeon said he had a way to get those love handles off He stapled and s**ed stuff through a tube I lost a hundred pounds in one afternoon When I came to in the recovery room Wuddn't much left of me When he removed the bandages from my thighs I couldn't believe my eyes Now I weigh 180 somethin' Didn't have to do much of nothin' I'm lookin' like Jean Claude Van Damme To fit in a pair Mark Wills' pants Now everyone who sees me Can't believe that I'm so skinny My body fat is nearly nothin' Ha ha Now that I weigh 180 somethin' WOOO Ha Ha Now I date a model with a GED But do you think she'd be with me I wonder (I wonder) If I (If I) Still weighed...270 somethin' Stuffin down blueberry muffins Onion rings and cans of SPAM That's how I got so fat Now everyone who sees me Can't believe that I'm so skinny I used to break a sweat just doin' nothin' Back when I weighed 270 somethin' Now I weigh 180 somethin' (spoken) Ah...well it's probably like more like around 225-26 None of y'all's business how much I weigh Huh huh...