Cledus T. Judd - How Do You Milk a Cow lyrics

Parody of "How Do You Like Me Now" by Toby Keith (Toby Keith/Chuck Cannon) Tokeco Tunes/Wacissa River Music (admin. by MRBI) (BMI) New lyrics by Cledus T. Judd/Chris Clark, Cledus Crap Anthems (SESAC)/Of Music, Inc. (SESAC) Yeah I was always the lazy one, A Southern Californian, But I've got some kinfolk on the Mason-Dixon line. So this summer just for fun Hopped in my DeLorean And headed for my uncle's farm for a short time. I thought that I would be huntin' and fishin'. I misunderstood him somehow. So far there's nothin' but chores here to mention. I didn't mind feedin the sows. But HOW DO YOU MILK A COW? How do you milk a cow? I wasn't in FFA. This cow must think i'm crazy Up under it this way. I'm sittin' here a pullin', but there ain't nothin' comin' out. Oh E I E I O… How do you milk a cow? Yeah I love it here in Tennesse, But these farmers all make fun of me. Can't haul much hay in a tiny sports car. So I got myself a 4 wheel drive, Learned to spotlight deer at night, And I've got shearin' sheep right down to an art. One thing's for sure, I hate shovelin' manure, It gets all over my overalls. Them horses need shoein' I hear Bessie mooin'. So I thought maybe I'd ask you all. HOW DO YOU MILK A COW? How do you milk a cow? I think it's safe to say A man could get arrested for this in LA This heifer must be empty 'cause she ain't puttin out. Oh E I E I O, Tell me how do you milk a cow. (Spoken) This song is absolutely an "udder" disaster. I hope I don't get mad cow diease. How do you milk a cow? I no longer care. I'm gettin sick and tired of smellin' dairy air. I'm headin' back to Cali And I'm turnin' in my plow. Oh E I E I O. How do you milk a cow?