Cledus T. Judd - Skoal: The Grundy County Spitting Incident lyrics

Sadie, pull this car over. Let me get me a can of Skoal. Well, we went down to the Grundy County auction The sign said no tobaccer where we sat My wife told me that I should spit with caution Or else we'll all wind up in a big ol' spat And I said hush your mouth nobody's gonna mind If I pack my lip and ignore the sign 'Cause a little dip of Skoal never hurt no one at all Then, I've never seen anyone get so mad From a little bit of spit on his John Deere hat But I spit on him once, spit on him twice Spit Skoal on the feller in the second row Well he turned around and nearly broke my nose I got a big fat lip, two black eyes Shoulda just went and dipped outside Well, it musta been about eight or nine more minutes Until I pulled that can of Skoal back out And I knew when I put my fingers in it That I'd just spit it out amongst the crowd ...Look out! And you know I really don't care if anybody minds A pinch 'tween your cheek and gum is not a crime So I'll do my spittin' and to heck with the rest of y'all Well I've never saw people gettin' so dang mad Worst County auction they've ever had 'Cause I spit on 'em once, spit on 'em twice Spit Skoal on the people, well I must confess I even got a little on a lady's white dress But in the end they got me back you see They all took a dip and spit on me Well, they pinned me down on the auction block And took my Skoal away And the town still hates to talk about The mess that was made that day When I said hush your mouth, nobody's gonna mind If I pack my lip and ignore the sign 'Cause a little dip of Skoal never hurt no one at all Well, I've never saw people gettin' so derned mad The worst County auction they've ever had 'Cause I spit on 'em once, spit on 'em twice Spit Skoal on the people, well I must confess I even got a little on a lady's white dress Shoulda swallowed my dip, swallowed my pride Shoulda just went and spit outsiiiiiiide. Whew! Boy, that was horrible! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well I went down to a Music City function Where I just heard a song that I had to howl out My lawyers told my to proceed with caution Or I'd make a whole lot of songwriters mad Uh-huh And I said Hey John Michael Montgomery won't mind If I take a song and make it mine all mine Like I did so many times with old Tim McGraw's Yeah I never heard anything sound so fine Mind if I borrow one or two of your lines Well I stole it once stole it twice I STOLE it from a writer on Music Row Well he just moved to town and he didn't know About ASCAP, SESAC, or BMI So he might as well kiss his song goodbye I had my number two pencil going about a mile a minute Till I had his ideas all written down And I knew I really went and did it When the police came and hauled my bu*t downtown And I said Hey John Michael Montgomery won't mind If I steal a song and make it mine all mine Like I did so many times with Tim McGraw's Yeah I never heard anything sound so fine Mind if I borrow one or two of your lines Well I stole it once stole it twice I STOLE that song and I must confess When I went to court I plead no contest Got a big fat lip and two black eyes Never should have messed with his copyright Yeah I told the judge I had writers block but he hauled my bu*t away And now it hurts too much to laugh about the song I stole that day When I said Hey John Michael Montgomery won't mind If I steal a song and make it mine all mine Like I did so many times with Tim McGraw Yeah I never heard anything sound so fine Mind if I borrow one or two of your lines So I stole it once stole it twice I STOLE it from a writer on Music Row Well he just moved to town and he didn't know About ASCAP, SESAC, or BMI So he might as well kiss his song goodbye (GASP) EYE STOLE WHEE!!!!