Cledus T. Judd - If Shania Was Mine lyrics

This is what Cledus T. wants... If Shania was mine Wouldn't be proud of me Couldn't hardly blame her Cuz I'm so derned ugly But on our first date We could have a good time If I got her on the moonshine If Shania was mine Say it fit just right Though my polyester suit was just a little too tight And there's no way I'd have a bad hair day Cuz I'd buy a new toupee' Oh, I'd love to seduce her But she married her producer Now all I do is pray, pray, pray! She'll get a deevorce someday If Shania was mine I'd probably lose my mind If she only squeezed me, teased me Pleased me one good time And if she only knew All the things I'd do I'd be the lawn mowin, crop growin Tater peelin, house cleanin kind If Shania was mine Ha huh If Shania was mine She'd have to agree Can't no one cook road k** better than me Add a dozen mountain oysters and some old fatback She'd say "Mmm, I like it like that" cha... Now all I do is wonder Whose bed have her boots been under I wish she'd hadda been mine Now I whine, whine! That girl is so doggone fine If Shania was mine I think I'd go slap blind Starin' at her yummy little tummy And her booty shakin' round behind And if she only knew All the things I'd do I'd be the lawn mowin' crop growin' Tater peelin' house cleanin' kind If Shania, if Shania, if Shania, If Shania, if Shania (ACK HACK) Now was that Mutt Lange or Deewight Yokel When she shimmies and shakes It's more than I can take Oh, what she does to me in them videos Wife's gonna leave me if I don't explain What I see in Shania Twain I'd love to see her in a magazine Centerfold if you know what I mean Oh me-a oh my-a I wish that Shania Would buy me a house in South Carolina Two, four, six, eight, nine Oh I wish that Shania was mine! he he he huh huh Want to be a gal of mine...