Cledus T. Judd - 1/2 lyrics

Hey everybody welcome out tonight Hope you're having a good time out there Don't forget the waitresses and a coming up next We got Sheena on the main stage Athena on the disco And don't forget we got :(chorus) Take it off baby : Those recliner dancers in the back : Stick around and get those dollar bills out guys and tip tip tip Take it off baby Take it off baby Well here's how this whole mess got started Had a stripper at a bachelor party I knew when she jumped out of that cake We were meant to be The next date we both flew off to Vegas I must have been an ignoramus I honestly believed that she Loved me just for me Oh...wasn't six months it came to an end I walked out of the courtroom crying She left with a grin Cause she got half And I said "OW!" I mean dang That comes to nearly fifty thou Per date My bu*t had never been so chafed Cause she got half I wondered if I'd remain lonely Or would I find my one and only Then the answer to my prayers Appeared on my TV (Call me now) The cutest little tarot card reader I knew that I just had to meet her Then she said it was in the cards For her to marry me Oh...wasn't three months later I was in court again No way she could have predicted The way it would end Cause I got half And she said "OW!" Two dollars a minute So everyone call right now Your Future awaits And I will be the next Bill Gates Cause I get half Sometimes you're better off as friends Cause if it ever ends Then they get half And you'll say "OW" So I'm not looking to get married right now I've Got a date With a beautiful Playboy Playmate Who won't get half No she won't get half