Oh no I'm looking for my gla**es again I put them down I turned around and then I could not find them Now I'm doing my best Patty Duke impression (The Miracle Worker) Stumbling all over the place What do I have to do to teach myself a lesson Fall flat on my face? Oh no I'm looking for my car keys again I put them down I turned around and then I could not find them I can't find them 'cause I can't see 'Cause I can't find my gla**es, woe is me I can't drive my car, I can't read But I can order a pizza and watch TV Oh no Where is that remote control It's got to be here I saw if five minutes ago But can I find it? No But the doorbell rings, it's the pizza guy Good thing I don't need my gla**es to eat pizza pie He tells me it's seven dollars, I say one minute My purse has all my money in it Oh no Now I'm looking for my purse Just when things were getting better They've taken a turn for the worse This is a curse I explain my situation How I can't see Why is the pizza man now laughing at me I'm searching round the table Under the bed Why is he pointing toward the top of my head? (Lady!) Here they are What is that there on the floor Yes, it's my purse It's holding my car keys and there's The remote control behind the door Now I can eat pizza and watch the news Chill out lose these annoying blues But first there's one phone call I need to return Where's my phone book? When will I learn? Oh no I'm looking for my phone book again..