The editor of Reader's Digest had too much free time one day we've published a million articles but I fear we're running out of cogent things to say oh he had a troubled sleep he tossed and turned fretting 'what should I write' when he woke up he said - Eureka! let's find out in which city the citizens are most polite from Thailand to Finland from Australia to Spain they tested 35 countries -- in the sunshine and the rain it was not scientific -- but when the testing was done no one could believe the city voted number one New York we are the most polite New York we always do what's right New Yorkers are helpful and we care Paris came in 15th place tied with London and Lisbon what a disgrace about manners people in Paris just don't care that's why nyc kicked paris in the you know where I could have said something rude that wouldn't be right I'm a New Yorker we are polite in New York our panhandlers say thank you our robbers say please before they snap your mug shot they ask nicely to say cheese landlords always say 'it's no problem!' when you wake em up when you can't find your keys they're so damn polite here that's why I love livin' right here Subway conductors give you a smile cabdrivers give correct change cops only give you a warning when you walk around naked and deranged New Yorkers love you more when you are weird looking and strange it's not like in Bucharest or Moobai they're not polite like us so to them I say boom-bye Nueva York! we are the most polite we are black and brown and beige and white we know how to compromise and share Paris came in 15th place tied with London and Libson what a disgrace about manners Parisians do not care they like to head-bu*t Italians but let's not go there enjoy this moment while you can it really is quite rare when New York City kicks Paris even Jerry Lewis is embarra**ed 'cause New York City kicked Paris in the Pardon em moi Derriere