Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick Listen girls Do you hear something ticking? I do, I do, I do, I do. I do It's inside me It's inside you A Biological Time Bomb Oh you can barely hear it when you're twenty But when you're thirty, it's plenty louder Your mother warned you But no you had to doubt her "I've got plenty of time Mom!" Oh That ticking echoes in that empty womb Oh From the next apartment, did you hear that Boom? Her Biological Time Bomb Now every time you see a baby carriage (clap clap) You curse the years you have avoided marriage (clap clap) You are angry You are confused But wait! I have figured out how to diffuse The Biological Time Bomb First you have a dozen of your eggs aspirated Frozen in the freezer of a doctor's 'fridgerator In ten or twenty or thirty years Whenever you wish You thaw them out to romance wigglies In a petri dish Then plant the little goober in a girl of seventeen Who's into natural living And prevention magazine No fuss, no muss, no stretch marks Well not on you Maternal instinct satisfied The modern thing to do Listen Girls You can't ignore that ticking any longer As you grow older It will grow stronger Biological Time Bomb Biological Time Bomb Biological tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick