Chris Barz - Ambition lyrics

[Intro] Going along the course of life I decided I got a few regrets Momma used to tell me you a good kid Please never change, and now [Verse 1: Kase] I ain't the man that I used to be Pain never cease but really that ain't new to me I could quit the game but then what would that do to me Momma said I changed the words really ruined me When you start thinking, what you could be If you break all the rules to see a paper spree It ain't worth it now my own worst enemy Reflecting on my baby sister in her booster seat And how she, used to keep me in check Knowing I had her respect I could have ruined her life With a slip of the feds Thinking I'm making it right As I'm laying in bed Covering sheets of lined paper up with regret Now my girl and me ducking And I'm secretly ruined Knowing Ma wouldn't approve Of the things that we doin' On the road to the riches Hoping that I'll be forgiven I put my head to the ground Thinking of turning around, listen [Hook] This a word to the kids It ain't cool man to sell d** Ask me now that I'm big I'd say I wish I would've left that to the real thugs And this a word to my momma Apologies for the drama You know I'll love you forever No hesitations or commas I fiend to clean up my act Of that I'm making a promise I only hope for your approval cause regret's what I harvest [Verse 2] k**ing myself over shame Living two different lives, under two separate names Not wanting the people I respect To see my accomplishments And distancing myself from the ones I ain't grown from yet I've spit some sick rhymes Even sicker yet And done some sick things in my life If I ain't did I bet That I'd be in a different place No longer hiding my face I ain't proud that to my family I'm just short of a disgrace But I can't live in the past I've got to pick up the pace And move on, to better things Get ahead in the race It's kind of crazy how I'm feeling lately So out of place Remind me say it again baby Why you ain't gone away? Cause you could do so much better Although I'll love you forever I just can't love you the same As I can tell you're expecting Girl we gon' have our ups! But we gon' have our regression And I can't buy you the ring you wanted We in a recession And I don't make enough money To even pay for the plumbing Or buy a bottle of Tylenol For this cold that I'm catchin' I hope you know that to me- You're nothing short of a blessin' And I will always offer you All of my care and protection We had a happy beginning I promise happier endin' But all the time in between We'll fill with frequent defendin' Cause we constantly fightin' And nobody winnin' I hope to fix the depression I've caused From the beginnin' [Hook] [Bridge] And it's a word to Wale It is a plea that I'm coppin' A plea for forgiveness from my girl and my momma I know I've done a lot wrong I know I'm part of the problem I know I haven't lived up to what you both would've wanted, but now I apologize, I'm going to try to make it right All the fights, and the lies, and the times I made you cry The black spots on my soul that of no more will arise And I hope you see the good in me by looking in my eyes [Interlude] And I'm going to take those regrets And I'm going to bury them deep in the ground And I'm going to make a change I'm going to make a change back To what I've been before I just wanna make my parents proud, know what I'm saying? [Verse 3] Brain still runnin', my mind goes numb and My heart still beat as fast as Travis Barker drummin' And to look back at my life, make me feel kind of dumb and I just want it all to end, but I'm scared of what else comin' Know it's time to make a change to something far better I can no longer erase all memories of bad weather Apologies to God, apologies to heaven Cause I haven't been the person I was sent to Earth and meant to be Been blessed mentally, gratitude for blessing me With parents so patient they can put up with the waitin' While I idle compensation and blatantly make a mess to clean Take the rest of me rip my heart from my chest you'll see I've been brought up to be the best of me Caught up in all the pressure please help me relieve the stress I heave piles of my regrets at these, poor, helpless hip-hop beats Surrounded in the memories as long and sick as centipedes And I'm done with having enemies Never in my life again will I pretend to be Something that I'm not Time to live for what I've got, family is at the top Time is all there is to waste now make it count for when it stops