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Chantelle Castello (FayDay) - You Could Say That lyrics

[Verse 1]
I'm asleep, but my eyes are wide open
I can't remember what I took, but it's got me hopin'
That things are gonna get better since everything's gotten worse
Sometimes I feel like I'm dyin', and I should be in a hearse
They tell me life is a beautiful thing, and after there's heaven
But what am I supposed to think when I'm in hell 24/7?
All my views fade away, and I don't think I can make it
These times are gettin' too hard, but I just smile and I fake it
But don't just say I'm depressed, and tell me I've gone insane
They say the chemicals ain't doin' right inside my brain
They say I'm takin' too many pills, and I wonder if I am
'Cause I'm starin' at this .44 in the palm of my hand
Put my finger on the trigger, lift the gun to my head
Hear the safety click off, and I imagine that I'm dead
But how can I imagine something that I've never been through?
So I imagine something better, something that can't be true
Like a world with no pain, or a world with no hurt
A world that's filled with grassy plains where there used to be dirt
A place where no children starve, a place where no children cry
A place where nobody steals, a place where nobody lies
For a moment I'm at peace with the world and myself
Turn the safety back on, and put the gun on the shelf
And I move on to live another shitty day
In hopes that tomorrow someone will listen to what I got to say

Suicidal thoughts? You could say that
Depression in my heart? You could say that
The sudden urge to kill somebody? You could say that too
But I can't do that to someone because the pain I've been through
See, if you really knew me you would understand
That the life I'm livin' ain't the one that I had planned
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And once you're so far gone there's nothin' no one can do
So I don't cry for myself, I only cry 'cause it's true

[Verse 2]
Rollin' up a blunt from the finest weed I can find
Cigarette burnin' away next to the pills I line
Two pills a day, four blunts a night
I feel like one-of-a-kind, even though it ain't right
But what do people expect after all I've been through?
I never listened to my heart, I ain't gon' listen to you
I didn't live yesterday and I'm a day away from death
I lost my place in the dark, and now I feel I'm losin' breath
I cry for help and you hearme, but ain't really fuckin' near me
After this close to the end I'm even startin' to fear me
So Ima light a cigarette and I'ma take some more pills
When I finish this joint I won't know how pain feels
So just sit there and dont you worry bout a thing
I've got it taken care of so just take care of my bling
'Cause tonight is the night, the night I'm slippin' away
I just don't feel like bein' here another fuckin' day


[Verse 3]
When I know I'm broken down I just take a pill
It's the only way I know how happiness feels
When I'm 'bout to have a breakdown on the kitchen floor
I just roll a joint, grab the gun and lock the door
Maybe someone close to me can really read my mind
Maybe they can save my soul before I find
The courage and the strength to just end my life now
I can make it I just haven't figured out how


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