Chantelle Castello (FayDay) - You Could Say That lyrics

[Verse 1] I'm asleep, but my eyes are wide open I can't remember what I took, but it's got me hopin' That things are gonna get better since everything's gotten worse Sometimes I feel like I'm dyin', and I should be in a hearse They tell me life is a beautiful thing, and after there's heaven But what am I supposed to think when I'm in hell 24/7? All my views fade away, and I don't think I can make it These times are gettin' too hard, but I just smile and I fake it But don't just say I'm depressed, and tell me I've gone insane They say the chemicals ain't doin' right inside my brain They say I'm takin' too many pills, and I wonder if I am 'Cause I'm starin' at this .44 in the palm of my hand Put my finger on the trigger, lift the gun to my head Hear the safety click off, and I imagine that I'm dead But how can I imagine something that I've never been through? So I imagine something better, something that can't be true Like a world with no pain, or a world with no hurt A world that's filled with gra**y plains where there used to be dirt A place where no children starve, a place where no children cry A place where nobody steals, a place where nobody lies For a moment I'm at peace with the world and myself Turn the safety back on, and put the gun on the shelf And I move on to live another sh**ty day In hopes that tomorrow someone will listen to what I got to say [Hook] Suicidal thoughts? You could say that Depression in my heart? You could say that The sudden urge to k** somebody? You could say that too But I can't do that to someone because the pain I've been through See, if you really knew me you would understand That the life I'm livin' ain't the one that I had planned And once you're so far gone there's nothin' no one can do So I don't cry for myself, I only cry 'cause it's true [Verse 2] Rollin' up a blunt from the finest weed I can find Cigarette burnin' away next to the pills I line Two pills a day, four blunts a night I feel like one-of-a-kind, even though it ain't right But what do people expect after all I've been through? I never listened to my heart, I ain't gon' listen to you I didn't live yesterday and I'm a day away from d**h I lost my place in the dark, and now I feel I'm losin' breath I cry for help and you hearme, but ain't really f**in' near me After this close to the end I'm even startin' to fear me So Ima light a cigarette and I'ma take some more pills When I finish this joint I won't know how pain feels So just sit there and dont you worry bout a thing I've got it taken care of so just take care of my bling 'Cause tonight is the night, the night I'm slippin' away I just don't feel like bein' here another f**in' day (Hook) [Verse 3] When I know I'm broken down I just take a pill It's the only way I know how happiness feels When I'm 'bout to have a breakdown on the kitchen floor I just roll a joint, grab the gun and lock the door Maybe someone close to me can really read my mind Maybe they can save my soul before I find The courage and the strength to just end my life now I can make it I just haven't figured out how (Hook)