Chai-T - Ex-Factor (Lauryn Hill) {Funny or Die} FREESTYLE lyrics

[Spoken: Chai-T] Yo, I wrote this track for this girl that I've known for a really long time. I call it "Peas and Carrots" [Verse 1: Chai-T] Girl, I'm hungry for you and I have faith we'll stay loves It's a sign, Netflix sayin' watch "Eat, Pray, Love" Guilty smile; Spud Webb - you can't deny I ain't a Hobbit but I see a flame in yo' eye Your Lois-Lanin' yo' eyes towards me I guess, I'm like a superhero you invented; Stan Lee If we play games we Crush Candy So happy, like when-we-were kids shopping for stationary Cause yo, we were scrapbook fanatics No color of paper that we didn't have it Damn, you used to plead your parents, girl Us as kids, arts & crafts, peas and carrots Then we'd watch the nightfall - [the best thing to happen on my Saturday Nights in the nineties minus Lorne Michaels] And I never told you that until today (cause) "When i was in the 3rd grade, I thought that I was gay" Cause I could draw, sing, dance, write cursively But girls always had the monopoly on sensitivity And yo, I guess they dug their own grave While you always kept me close; Gillette shave You got a hard-on for me Cause (ah), I wear my heart on my sleeve I know you, in-and-out, down-below and up-above Plus I make a Kale Salad that you motherf**in' love: Raisins, almonds, parmesan and Kale and olive oil and Apple cider, dash-a-thyme'a Chop-it, serve-it and enjoy Now you can make it at home Though you'll never eat it alone Euphemism: Serve it with steak on a bone Yeah, just you and me You encompa** all the character that I love: Community Spotless Sunshine I never want to erase ya From my mind like a Men in Black taser When you not around I try to front like "no fuss" But I'm a kid and you ham sandwich: no crust A rump that knows how to serve a cold-cut Yo! Beyonce's here? Whoa! It's your bu*t! But not offensively Hey yo, I would never play you like Dikembe played defensively Cause, I only got a ride, for you In this heart that's like a Smart Car 'cause... it only holds 2 [Yeah] [Yeah]? [Yeah]