Chad Mitchell Trio - A Dying Business lyrics

Funeral Directors of America, I am very deeply honored standing here, receiving this token of your esteem, "The Funeral Director of the Year." Now I've been asked by all the delegates, and members of the board, to tell you of the funeral that won me this award. It was handled with taste and dignity, that much I can say for it. And I'm sure it will take the family twenty years to pay for it. It was a helluva funeral, it was a helluva funeral The finest funeral ever booked I had some high school juniors Who pa**ed around petunias And lilies everywhere you looked It was a helluva funeral, I say one helluva funeral Oh, how I wish that you were there I had ten drum majorettes doubling on the castanets It really was a lively affair It really was a lively affair It was a helluva funeral, it was a helluva funeral The national guard showed up for me And during the oration, they went into formation And formed the letters R.I.P. It was a helluva funeral, I say one helluva funeral I gave it all my loving care The band was on its toes playing "Mexicali Rose" It really was a lively affair It really was a lively affair A tisket a tasket, tell us about the casket Well, I'll tell you about the casket, my good friends It would-a made your poor eyes pop It was sterling silver all around and a real formica top Formica top, it had a formica top Well, I'll tell you about the widow, my good friends The widow was in navy blue With a gown designed by Balenciaga, I supplied that too He sold the widow widow's weeds too I held the first funereal raffle, though I don't much like to boast And I gave away a Chevrolet to the person who cried the most He gave away a brand new Chevrolet - I won it myself! There were eighteen jugglers by the grave to demonstrate their art And when they was done, I fired a gun to let the hootenanny start He fired a gun and the hootenanny begun I was serving beer and pretzels, 'til the hot pastrami came And I sold some souvenier hankies with the dear departed's name He was sellin' hankies with the dear departed's name As a fitting finale we had the Rockettes from New York's Music Hall; As you can see, my very good friends All in all, all in all, all in all It was a helluva funeral, I say one helluva funeral No other burial could compare It was all done up deluxe and I made forty thousand bucks It really was a lively affair It really was a swingin' affair