When I was just a wee little lad full of health and joy My father homeward came one night and gave to me a toy A wonder to behold it was, with many colors bright And the moment I laid eyes on it, it became my heart's delight It went zip when it moved, bop when it stopped Whirr when it stood still, I never knew just what it was And I guess I never will The first time that I picked it up I had a big surprise For right on its bottom were two big bu*ton that looked like big green eyes I first pushed one and then the other, then I twisted its lid And when I set it down again here is what it did It went zip when it moved, bop when it stopped Whirr when it stood still, I never knew just what it was And I guess I never will It first marched left, then marched right, then marched under a chair And when I looked where it had gone it wasn't even there I started to cry and my daddy laughed for he knew that I would find When I turned around my marvelous toy chugging from behind It went zip when it moved, bop when it stopped Whirr when it stood still, I never knew just what it was And I guess I never will Now the years have gone by too quickly it seems, I have my own little boy And yesterday I gave to him my marvelous little toy His eyes nearly popped right out of his head, he gave a squeal of glee Neither one of us knows just what it is but he loves it just like me It still goes zip when it moves, bop when it stops And whirr when it stands still, I never knew just what it was And I guess I never will I never knew just what it was And I guess I never will