[Intro] Rum Tum Tugger (spoken) You ought to ask Mr. Mistoffelees! The original Conjuring cat There can be no doubt about that. [Verse 1] Please, listen to me, and don't scoff, all his Inventions are off his own bat. There's no such cat in the metropolis, He holds all the patent monoplies, For perfoming surprising illusions, And creating eccentric confusion. [Pre-Chorus] (Sang) The greatest magicians have something to learn From Mister Mistoffelees Conjuring Turn [Chorus] And we all say Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees [Verse 2] He is quiet, he is small he is black From his ears to the tip of his tail He can creep through the tiniest crack He can walk on the narrowest rail He can pick any card from a pack He is equally cunning with dice He is always decieving you into believing That he's only hunting for mice [Verse 3] He can play any trick with a cork Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste If you look for a knife or a fork And you think it merely misplaced You have seen it one moment and then it is gone You'll find it next week lying out on the lawn! [Chorus] And we all say Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees PRESTO! Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees [Verse 4] His manner is vague and aloof You would think there is nobody shyer But his voice has been heard on the roof When he was curled up by the fire And he's sometimes been heard by the fire When he was about on the roof At least they all heard that somebody purred Which is uncontestable proof Of his singular magical powers And I've known the family to call Him in from the garden for hours When he was asleep in the hall [Verse 5] And not long ago this phenominal cat Produced seven kittens right out of a hat [Chorus] And we all say Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees [Verse 6] And not long ago this phenominal cat Produced seven kittens right out of a hat [Chorus] And we all say Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees Oh! Well I never was there ever A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees [Outro] Ladies and Gentleman, I give you the Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!