JASON Dot Nardoni, Tiffany Axelrod Zoe Feinstein, Angelina Dellibovi Bunny Doyne, or what's her name' Mo Cristofaro And Ellie Mazie Rosenthal's really well built When Heather Levin stares at me Why do I wilt? And now, at Flo Giuseppe When she does splits in her kilt Of these girls Which should I invite to my bar mitzvah? I've a problem to flaunt: I don't want the girls I should want (His family cheers him on at the baseball game. A voice says, 'batter up') I want girls for whom I lust Girls who wear a lot of makeup Girls who smoke and show their bust Girls with whom I always wake up- (Jason misses the ball, the guy says 'strike one!', his family is sad) Would they come though If they were invited? And not laugh At my hebrew And not laugh At my father and his friends? (Jason misses the ball again, the guy says 'strike two!', his family is sad again) Excluding them, I find exciting And I'm left with them, I'll be inviting Selecting girls for one's bar mitzvah God, that's the miracle of Judaism (Jason misses the ball again, the guy says 'strike three, you're out!') That'd be the miracle of Judaism