Carter Deems - Carter Deems vs Head I.C.E. lyrics

[Round 1: Carter Deems] Yo, in your battle against that one guy You said that one thing and it was really dumb I make him go really dumb for talking slick when I put that metal in his mouth, now that's a silver tongue You started battle rapping at the age of 51 Back when you were really young I don't act like I carry a silly gun but my girl does and She Bang like William Hung That picture in my living room? That's the one that William hung Crazy with the hands I got silly thumbs I don't k** a ton but I move weight by the kiloton Just wait til my shipments come, this bu*t head been a bum Catch me in the kitchen whipping up sticky buns Your favorite Pokemon Licky Tongue I make him stop motion like Chicken Run My mom beat you in a footrace, that chick can run Just cause you grip the heat mean that you're more real than me It just means we have fun on Friday night very differently I like to hand paint ornaments from my Christmas tree And I enjoy the mystery of seeing what Santa decided to get for me But you spend Christmas week Trying to get people under the mistletoe so you can make your fist kiss their teeth Neither way is right or wrong, we're just different, see? I seek inner peace by sipping tea like my skin is green But then I hit the streets...to trick or treat With my friends, with the hope that they'll finally share their Twix with me You seek serenity by going on a k**ing spree And punching the first kid you see wearing skinny jeans As you head outside to race limousines Seems pretty legit to me But we're not enemies We can do friendly things You can watch season 3 of Friends with me And I'll even let you have the pa**word to my Netflix for free We can garden together I'll trim the weeds and plant all types of different seeds And in the spring, I'll go with you to see your grandson play little league We'll have a ball...literally My car the same color that citrus be I call it a "lemon drop" Bend the block in that wide body trunk so big I get followed by Sir Mix-A-Lot My whip is hot It's like when I lost my baseball card, that's missing Topps Leave him with missing tops, red dot, itchy trigger finger, give 'em all chicken pox My favorite type of pie? Chicken pot I own 50 Glocks and the calicoes shoot bullets the same size as a litter box You'll see defeat like my missing socks It'll be a clean sweep, I own three Swiffer mps Lick a shot, then get your chick in the Coupe faster Fantastic Mr. Fox Yo, listen pops I'll hit him so hard it'll split my hands like Mr. Spock Keep acting like what you spit is hot and that'll get Ice creamed in the future like Dippin Dots [Round 1: Head I.C.E.] I'm a legend to the vets I even main event perform for all the rookies And all you p**y And I been giving you n***as the messages like fortune cookies, n***a Piff in the Swisher stick, pick a rhythm I'm like Swiss and Kiss, I'll air you Pick a beat, and watch me weave through a track like your b**hes hair do How I'm looking king? Oh that's just royalties You getting signed? Bow, now you blind With The Wolf running off with all your royalties You looking to sue? Well, we done gave Surf all the money for his lawyer fees I'm the King Of The Dot When Rone, see me, he tuck in his chain sh** ain't gon' be the same for Carter Deems I should be going platinum in a week S Dot, Carter 3, but instead I got a Martin King Kids with they darkest dreams and be they leadership Cause they'll never see the sh** and Carter Deems You good for a joke but stand up If they let the dogs out to play your cat a** gon' cram up Let's keep it G If I'm in your house, your family gon' feel uncomfortable Not cause I'm black and my size Your family gon' feel uncomfortable because I'm black and my size That's not a joke And that outfit, yo' daddy wore when he rape you and your cousin was a costume It was not the pope Laugh now I used to spit spitball and pop rubber bands at cla** clowns Snatches, gimmie mines, wedgies, show yo' a** now You the water boy Players can't even trust you with the water boy You been came out the closet Now you trying to scare us by busting out the wall, the boy? Stop playing kid games, before you miss a piece, like one of my kids game Then I hide the gun like some friends of my kids came I'm with the sh** Yeah, you should avoid d**h Some of my wolves embrace it as a joy, yes So that murder weapon can be that Willie Mays bat from out your toy chest My mind be thinking, how it feel on the inside of a thick b**h Yo' mind be thinking, "My next battle, I hope Joe Cutter show up so we can share this box of chitlins In your back pocket you pull out fish sticks Your left jacket pocket got lipstick Your right jacket pocket got biscuits They laughing cause they know your art I'm rapping to expose your heart f** a flea market, this should've been in the meat market Cause you was food from the start Now give me something to laugh at Crack me up Cause on crack, we up But you don't know nothing about that re-up so we gon' look past that But yo' aunt, she can pump diesel for me Your sister? She can test needles for me You got a brother? He look anything like Joe Cutter Then he can sneak into a biker club and k** people for me I'm with the sh** My mom said I got my pops eyes And when people look in 'em They instantly take an order instead of giving one like pot pies Any sign of disrespect could possibly lead to a pedestrian d**h like missing a stop sign I be speeding But I'm in the right lane that's what got me here Plane seats got the driver side feeling just as good as granny rocking chair Ho, ho, ho I ain't talking Santa's lap If I send you a gift after I light the tree, your whole family wrap Bomb threat, Glock 26, extensions look like the leg on a Vietnam vet Cut the war stories You can't DVR this drama So much blood in your mouth, only your family will do CPR to revive ya Taste the love n***a [Round 2: Carter Deems] Let's get back to these real bars Yo I'm spitting so much fire we don't even need heat in this place I'm running the streets at a pace where you'd get beat in a race But before we go forward be honest, are you gonna punch me in the face? You're a very graceful man He usually has three women feeding him grapes While he takes three other women simultaneous on amazing dates Believe me he's great You'll see it's fate Our friendship's written in the stars So understand if you're needing your space But for real though, are you gonna punch me? For real, let me know if you're gon' hit me Let me know even if you're so-so or iffy I was just kidding about you being over 50 I tried to pick some girls up earlier and so far I'm O for 50 And those girls weren't even remotely pretty So maybe you should punch me in the face so at least I can invoke some pity You sleep on a futon That's why your back and neck's weak I'm feeling so well rested I won't have to sleep again til next week Decorative pillows, cover slips, comforters, my bed's neat That's why I get the best sleep I'm not making this up I Excel every time I spread sheets You'll get crossed for sleeping on the kid, that's plaid pajamas Your favorite Wu-Tang member? That's Cappadonna I'll grab the blocka, bring John John in show you how to cap a Don...uh Yo badge of honor I get followed by the police but I lose the tail like an attacked iguana You test the dude it's petting zoo You act sheepish around the goat (GOAT) and I'll pack a (alpaca) Llama My car the same as my bunk bed, I don't like the top The only time that I.C.E. is hot is when he wears Icy Hot He pulls his thighs a lot You looking stupid boss as Michael Scott It's just another day at The Office when the rifle pop That'll put a spring in his step like Nike Shox Yo, I'm the hottest cat in this (Catniss) and I'm not talking Mocking Jay I'll swallow a ladies wedding ring and throw the diamond up like I'm mocking Jay Dame threw the Roc away, not sure how much that rock will weigh When my cat starts snoring I make her turnover like I threw the rock away I make her lean back, I got a lean back that's why I walk in a very awkward way You have a very disrespectful disposition towards women, that's misogyny You have arthritis so please let me know if you want me to ma**age your knee Oh, you wanna box with me? Well I can hit him in the back like Apollo Creed But this cat's back, not something my cat ma**agers need [Round 2: Head I.C.E.] I said, eh try not to swallow your tongue in the motherf**ing battle You hear me chump? Cause the way sh** looking, now-a-days they'll charge me for that murder, you hear me Trump? This a rapper who catch real bodies, vers' A n***a who believe what they saying about Bill Cosby Is you serious O? I thought Avacado and Pro would know they limits Instead they put a Wolf vers' a n***a who'll wear a shirt with four beige cats And on the back say "OJ did it." I ain't got time for this sh** Stop hiding the chain before I rob something And stop putting me against n***as who look like old school cops who that locked up the mob or something I'm in the streets for real And I keep the steel If Carter Deems just pop up, how I'ma tell my peeps to chill? And some of them will prolly take off cause they think he got a gun and the badge and they keep the steel But once they realize he ain't a cop, or coming to cop They next option is to keep him still Til I send my young Wolf to get the ransom money from your mother and father And we keep him...still That's my type So find me a rapper who talk my talk and we can climb heights Til then, this just feel like me walking in the gym And letting all the cameras taking pictures of me Cause I'm the one in the lime light Mayweather Wait til you see what I do to that boy in May weather And this is April I wish I was fooling you n***as but this ain't the first of the month Besides, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony song was way better It's the first of the month, wake up, wake up You computer smart, I just come put ER's (computer) to work Street knowledge Don't compare us He on the web, I'm the spider sitting in the middle seat Talking to these so called baller n***a's b**hes; John Salley n***a Me? The rapper who put fear in Iron Solomon With seven bad b**hes willing to love and f** me, I am Solomon n***a Lot people thought I wasn't gonna have an angle for you, I've been telling 'em "This battle is stopping his moms from making him have a yard sale on the balcony." I'm expecting a "thank you" from him But you can keep it of course Then again you can thank me by coming with me to book people like the cheapest resorts I'll play the Grim Reaper You just wear those sneakers and they'll think we need the support n***a Ice, f** it [Round 3: Carter Deems] With you we really know the gats aren't clapping I brought the tools to cut him off at the same time he was rapping I'm just a silver tongue stud who wears a silver tongue stud My dad will be 61 in a month but to you he's still a young blood I can call you an irrelevant has been but I have respect for your pa**ion You seen deadly a**a**ins like The Predator tracking You had the weapon and drew/Andrew like President Jackson You got the pockets full of president Jacksons You got the president stacking but I'm 'bout to take it all away You can call me Young Federal Taxes I know you've seen things that I could never imagine I'm not here to debate whether it happened But we're not here to see who's seen the most murders we're here to see who's better at rapping ...Which is also you Props are prolly due that's the honest truth If we battled on top of the building I would've already jumped off the roof My car? It's off the roof What are you doing later? Cause I already called ahead and got a booth at a Jamba Juice And don't worry about what it's costing you I got a lot of loot I don't know what you favorite flavor is but don't worry they got all the fruits My car is the same color as Steve Harvey's suit That's red, orange and blue I know big dogs that's Marmaduke I also know tiny puppies that will hardly bark at you You call it a gang? I call it a slightly larger group I'm shining like a sparkly tooth You can catch me with my family at a barbecue Cause I stay with my kin (Ken) like Barbie do Yo, I found a cute kitten behind a dumpster, she was a stray like that I'm a responsible cat dad, so I got her spade like that I know that you hate my cats You wanna scrap well I may fight back I'm never scared, but I did come prepared Just in case you hit me in the face like that Look, cause I know you punching a lot, running the block Dumping the Glock But I can cook a Lean Cuisine just by looking at the picture on the front of the box Pop-corn, Bagel Bites, Pizza Rolls and all types of microwavable foods I'm crazy my dude The box said to cook it in three minutes but I made it in two And it was amazing to chew I'm not afraid of you I'm wild and crazy dude When I was maybe two I ate an entire Baby Ruth and I only had one baby tooth I hated baby food, I'm not here to play with you so don't get it twisted like your ankle do You wanna start something and change the mood Well I'll slide to the side of the beef like a staple food I'm really eating off my paper, that's staple food I ate a hot dog when I saw the Lakers, that's Staples food You can catch me in the dance club doing crazy moves But lifting the beams the only time I raise the roof Look, when it comes to hustling I outrun this geezer This kid gon' pop like Justin Bieber You're just a soft dude who'll never be real like his fam', that's Cousin Skeeter When cheese pops it's beat box, every time he dumps the heater But when I grab the chopper it makes me {starts shaking} like I'm having another seizure [Round 3: Head I.C.E.] I said the freaks come out at night The freaks come out at night You look like the kid from Freddy Kruger 1 that fell asleep and got pulled into the bed He ain't even understand what I said I said, "You look and like the kid from Freddy Kruger 1 You wanted to fall asleep and pull him in your bed, n***a." I don't even feel comfortable calling you a fruitcake I prefer egg salad Cause I'm convinced if an egg had arms and a leg, with a dick, you would toss an egg salad n***a I should throw 16 bags of tarter sauce at your fishy a** Non-stop Like a black trying to catch a gypsy cab I'm Carl Froch f** a label, I sell it myself to get the cash and you'se a girl Watch your motherf**ing mouth before I beat yo'...nah Any reference to a body part to you is gay bar, look at you Running your fingers through your hair Giving me that funny a** look you be giving other guys when you trying to scoop 'em in a gay bar Well Carter Deems The only Tony/Toni and a Caesar I'm looking to f**, is related to Tamar You let Joe Cutter throat stuff ya You only let that monster out the bag so you could s** him back in one like Ghostbusters You said you and your daddy be watching the battles and sh** when they dropping them sh**, right? [Carter Deems] Yeah [Head I.C.E.] Aight, cool Yo, old fart! I'ma need you to sit up straight and put this new sh** in your old heart It's gon' hurt like them sores on yo' a** you gotta sit and deal with So you can take this like your last Viagra pill cause your wife still ain't gon' feel sh** While you pitching a fit, you and your brother you in them pictures with Is the first man who signed his name on your son a** you pencil dick So I'ma need you to stop hating on blacks or getting your friends to vote for Trump Or watching rodeo for a month And go get that b**h Your moms still ride around in them mini vans? I duct tape her She ever get ga**ed by us They be using this last flyer as her fund raiser You on d**h row Your last words will be a joke probably Til they finish with the ga**ing and you realize the last laugh is you a nobody He Neil Armstrong, he seeing the first alien Y'all ain't catch that huh? I said, "He's Neil Armstrong, he's seeing the first L he's in." Off duty cop in a Dunkin Donut ordering sh** you can only get from Krispy Kreme He don't know what jail he (jelly) in This my home, you in a no fly zone You want to see the bigger picture? Well I turn a gun to the side like a iPhone n***a Oh that ain't youtube for n***as But I will shoot you and take you to doctor like, "You tube the n***a." Ice