Black cards I work my a** off all day for this family, and this what I come home to? ________!? I have a strict policy. First date, dinner. Second date, kiss. Third date, ________. When I was a kid we used to play Cowboys and ________. This is America. If you don't work hard, you don't succeed. I don't care if you're black, white, purple, or ________. You Won't Believe These 15 Hilarious ________ Bloopers! James is a lonely boy. But when he discovers a secret door in his attic, he meets a magical new friend: ________. Don't worry, kid. It gets better. I've been living with ________ for 20 years. My grandfather worked his way up from nothing. When he came to this country, all he had was the shoes on his feet and ________. Behind every powerful man is ________. You are not alone. Millions of Americans struggle with ________ every day. Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world-famous spas, experience the nightlife, or simply enjoy ________ by the poolside. "This is madness!" "No. THIS IS ________!" Listen, Gary, I like you. But if you want that corner office, you're going to have to show me ________. I went to the desert and ate of the peyote cactus. Turns out my spirit animal is ________. And would you like those buffalo wings mild, hot, or ________? The six things I could never do without: oxygen, facebook, chocolate, netflix, friends, and ________ LOL! Why won't you make love to me anymore? Is it ________? Puberty is a time of change. You might notice hair growing in new places. You might develop an interest in ________. This is normal. I'm sorry, Mrs. Chen, but there was nothing we could do. At 4:15 this morning, your son succumbed to ________. I'm Miss Tennessee, and if I could make the world better by changing one thing, I would get rid of ________. Tonight, we will have s**. And afterwards, if you'd like, a little bit of ________. Everybody join hands and close your eyes. Do you sense that? That's the presence of ________ in this room. To become a true Yanomamo warrior, you must prove that you can withstand ________ without crying out. Y'all ready to get this thing started? I'm Nick Cannon, and this is America's Got ________. If you had to describe me, the Card Czar, using only one of the cards in your hand, which one would it be? White cards A ba** drop so huge it tears the starry vault asunder to reveal the face of God. A bowl of gourds. A bu*tload of candy. A constant need for validation. A man who is so cool that he rides on a motorcycle. A peyote-fueled vision quest. A pizza guy who f**ed up. A possible m**m. A self-microwaving burrito. A turd. A whole lotta woman. An oppressed people with a vibrant culture. An overwhelming variety of cheeses. Bathing in moonsblood and dancing around the ancient oak. Being John Malkovich. Being a terrible mother. Being popular and good at sports. Breastfeeding a ten year old. Bullets. Cancer. Cool, relatable cancer teens. Crippling social anxiety. Crying and sh**ting and eating spaghetti. Cute boys. Eating together like a god damn family for once. Ejaculating inside another man's wife. Every ounce of charisma left in Mick Jagger's tired body. Filling a man's an*s with concrete. Forgetting grandma's first name. Generally having no idea what's going on. Getting all offended. Getting shot out of a cannon. Growing up chained to a radiator in perpetual darkness. Gwyneth Paltrow's opinions. Immortality cream. Important news about Taylor Swift. Kale. Like a million alligators. Meaningless s**. Morpheus. Never having s** again. No longer finding any Cards Against Humanity card funny. One unforgettable night of pa**ion. Our new Buffalo Chicken Dippers®! Owls, the perfect predator. Peeing into a girl's bu*t to make a baby. p**y. Rabies. Reading the entire End-User License Agreement. Ripping a dog in half. Robots who just want to party. Setting my balls on fire and cartwheeling to Ohio. Shapes and colors. sh**ting all over the floor like a bad, bad girl. Such a big boy. s**ing all the milk out of a yak. Sudden penis loss. Teaching a girl how to handjob the penis. Texas. The all-new Nissan Pathfinder with 0.9% APR financing! The amount of gay I am. The color "puce." The dentist. The eighth graders. The haunting stare of an Iraqi child. The male gaze. The power of the Dark Side. The sweet song of sword against sword and the braying of mighty war beasts. Throwing stones at a man until he dies. Treasures beyond your wildest dreams. Turning the rivers red with the blood of infidels. Two whales f**ing the sh** out of each other. Unsheathing my ma**ive horse co*k. Walking into a gla** door. Whatever you wish, mother.