Capitol Steps - In the Metro lyrics

Ladies and gentlemen, when visiting Washington DC, be sure to check out our fine ma**-transit system... On a cold and gray December morn Commuters in DC look so forlorn In the metro (In the metro) And a tourist asks "Will the red line take me to the blue?" Do I look like a freakin' map to you... Of the metro? People, don't you understand? Tourists need a helping hand Or they'll ride on metro rails all day Will their memory of DC Be nothing but the smell of pee? Comin' from a guy who sits and works on his crochet... And a woman sighs 'Cause when the train's packed full she starts to dread Guys treatin' her bu*t like its Wonder Bread On the metro (On the metro) And so she tells those guys "Hey, watch out, don't invade my space!" But half of them are already to second base On the metro (On the metro) Then one day in desperation She says she'll drive today She hits the road in her car Traffic s**s, so she doesn't get far Before she starts to cry And when the train goes by, she knows she's wrong And she misses the chimes as they go "bing-bong" Doors closing... On the metro (On the metro) Just take metro!