I can catch a helpless animal, Skin it with my bare hands. I wake up muddy, And I go to bed bloody, 'Cause I'm a trappin' man. I can brave the nastiest weather. Weather! Even if it's 80 below. Below! My pa was an elephant, but that's irrelevant. My ma was an Eskimo. I eat rabbits' heads for breakfast. Breakfast! With beaver bu*t on the side. The side! My mind's magnificent and my body no different. I'm full of trapper pride! Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Rip their fur, cut their skin with my knife. Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho! One thing's for sure, there's nothing like a trappin' life! I'm badder than the baddest sailor! Sailor! I make love to women 10 feet tall. Good lord! I've got a chest of wonder and balls of thunder. I can break right through a wall. I love the sound of metal, Metal! Snapping on an animal's head. Ka-chink! Sometimes they scamper Sometimes they whimper But they always end up dead. (Interlude by Nutter) I've always wanted to be somebody Who didn't get pushed around. Now that I'm a trapper, I'm the meanest guy around. (Frenchy interrupts) Second meanest! The blood of a fresh-cut rodent Is as sweet as brandy wine. And the brain of an antelope Tastes like cantaloupe. What a yummy life! Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Rip their fur, cut their eyes out with my knife. Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho! (Song is cut short, due to the trapper trio's inability to sing in corresponding scales) [Noon] Oh, Stop! [Humphrey] That's sick. [Frenchy] I agree. Nutter, you were singing in the wrong key! [Nutter] No I wasn't. It was Loutzenheiser. I was singing in Eb minor. [Frenchy] The song's in F# major! [Bell] I think they're the same thing. I mean, Eb is the relative minor of F#. [Frenchy] No, it isn't. The relative minor is 3 half-tones down from the major, not up! [Noon] No, it's 3 down. Like A is the relative minor of C major. [Loutzenheiser] But isn't A# in C major? [Bell] Wait, are you singing Mixolydian scales, or something? [Frenchy] A# is tonic to C major. It's the 6! [Humphrey] No it isn't! [Swan] Well, it'd be like a raised 13th if anything. [Frenchy] Oh well. You guys are just a bunch of loser diggers anyhow! [Humphrey] Oh see. You know we're right!