Camille West - The Nervous Wreck Of Edna Fitzgerald lyrics

We sailed away from Huntington Bay And the waters were calm as could be-oh On our new cabin cruiser, the first time we used her 'twas just the family and me-oh And my husband stood proud in his new captain's hat Using words like ahoy there and- crap like that So we took the kid and Cleo our cat And set outt o conquer the sea-oh Everyone loved it but Clee-oh And it's yo ho over the seas The salt and the spray and the cool ocean breeze Pa** me a bottle of Perrier please This is the life for me The tranquility three miles out to sea Suddenly came to an end-oh When the kid started saying "No way am I staying I'd rather be playing Nintendo-oh" And the captain cried "Ho there, you little snot I paid fifty grand for this family yacht You're going to enjoy yourself, like it or not So you'd better learn how to pretend-oh" (We all caught the man's innuendo-oh) And it's yo ho over the seas The salt and the spray and the cool ocean breeze Pa** me a bottle of Dramamine please This is the life for me My husband the captain was checking the charts While the cruiser was burning up fu-el And the kid threw the cat in, trolling for sharks He called it a project for school-el I reached down to pull the cat in by the tail When I smelled what I held my complexion went pale That's when I lost my lunch over the rail The kid thought the whole thing was coo-el Mama was not feeling too-well And it's yo ho over the seas The salt and the spray and the cool ocean breeze Pa** me a bottle of Valium please Is this the life for me? We ran out of fuel by mid-afternoon And the clouds were moving in fast-er And the captain did say, "There's no more Perrier" Which made it a total disast-er With hardly a warning it started to pour And we drifted 'til we reached the New Jersey shore (never thought I'd be glad to see Jersey before) We started drifting in fast-er Tried to steer the ship, but we crashed her No more yo ho over the seas The salt and the spray and the cool ocean breeze Pa** me a bottle of cyanide please This is no life for me I'm back in my condo, the cruiser's a wreck My husband is spending the insurance check On something for dry land or I'll break his neck 'Cause this is the life for me Yo ho