Cam Greely - Ash Ketchum vs Charles Darwin lyrics

[Intro] EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! ASH KETCHUM! VERSUS! CHARLES DARWIN! BEGIN! [Verse 1: Ash Ketchum] Darwin wants to battle? Doesn't seem like a fight But this should be fun! I've yet to catch a ghost type Got the highest speed stat, drop rhymes lightning fast Open my pockets and go Charizard on your a** Cause I'm Ash! And that's A-to-the-Shush! I don't care how many beetles and bu*terflies you squooshed Your earthworms can't beat these magical beasties Your sh**-talking mouth is the Origin of Feces You've got candy raps, Reese's Pieces In this ecosystem, I'm the dominant species When it's time to train, I turn to Pikachu. (Pika!) But when I need a weak verse, I choose you [Verse 2: Charles Darwin] Hello there, welcome to a world called Earth Where actual minds do groundbreaking work If you're looking for the fittest, I'm the natural selection You're so ineffective, you couldn't even turn eleven What you spit's just not hard-hitting enough It's kid stuff, you're soft like a Jigglypuff You got no Game Boy. So you'll get the broom quick The real Ash packs a much bigger BOOMSTICK I'm a masterful naturalist What I've glimpsed will outcla** all the crap on your laughable list My research reversed the first words of the Church You measure your worth by the sales of your merch! [Verse 3: Ash Ketchum] Yo, um… real quick This dude spent eight years studying barnacle dick Kick it! You think I'm impressed by your boat trip? Please You're the most annoying thing on a Beagle since fleas You're a glitchy old man best left out at sea Set sail and Galápago-s** on these [Verse 4: Charles Darwin] Look, Mighty Morphin Michael Vick Your animated slave fights make me sick When I battle a foe from so simple a beginning I'm not Charles Sheen but I am Dar-winning [Verse 5: Ash Ketchum] Man, if that's true, then nature is cruel Cause the only thing you're winning is your cousin's gene pool You lost three children while they were still small TB and scarlet fever, gotta catch ‘em all [Verse 6: Charles Darwin] It took millions of years for mankind to evolve Now they're hunched over cellphones playing with your balls And it was hard losing my daughters and their brother As hard as the wood that Oak gave your mother [Outro] WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC… RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!