Callum - Crocodile Under My Bed lyrics

There's a crocodile under my bed My parents think that I've gone to my head And the doctors think that I'm schizo But haven't you seen the empty bag of pretzels On my beddy-side, I feed him them every night So don't give me any of this schizophreni sh**e Like an elder brother I never had His name's Dave, hey Dave (‘hey Calum'), when I've ever had A problem, I can talk about it with him But we have good banter too, you think I'm bullsh**ting When I meet you on the street, you think I'm mental When I said ‘Yeah, have you met my friend yet' You're like ‘Sorry, who's this you're talking about' And I'm like ‘He's standing next to me' This girl's been texting me every week Now my mate's like ‘Wow You messed up big time, bro If you say your mate's an invisible amphibian Who wears a baseball cap, if you say all that ... I think you need to seek out Medical attention' And when my friend said my head Was all that screwed up Well, my family thought that too, yeah So they sent me to a special place A medical place All the doctor said was ‘You're mental, mate' My parents' anxiety multiplied like mitosis When they heard about the diagnosis But then came the day when the doctor saw The crocodile open the door