Ca$his - Serenade My LIfe lyrics

[Intro] Yeah,uh,Shady! It's Ca$his Serenade My Life Shady! [Verse 1: Ca$his] Focusing on opening Emotions that I hold within Surrounded by my inner demons Thinking I should roll with them I don't wanna go to hell I don't wanna go to jail But I wanna k** a man Maybe I should k** myself I've been sittin' Contemplating suicidal situations Now I'm placed in that position To abide the whole nation And I'm spottin' n*ggas hating I'm just watchin' Being patient Praying for my own existence Some say I'm a mental patient Drugs is taking over me Sorrow is controlling me Follow my blind heart Tomorrow run the coldest streets I've been cryin' for a week Will is weak,can I speak Without someone judging me? Pushin' me and shovin' me Mama if you love me You will really let me go But I live for a cause I don't really know Am I wrong if I cry? But I can't cause in time For the truth in my life I will be crucified [Hook X2] I'm sitting back patience (patience) I'm ready and waitin' (waitin') For my homicide Serenade my life And I can't escape it (scape it) I'm ready and waitin' (waitin') For my homicide Serenade my life [Verse 2:Ca$his] Conversating with my brother's spirit I hear him saying Strangers in the dark, lurking You just gotta feel them 'em waiting I ain't eating I ain't sleeping Close the door and I ain't breathing d**h is running over me My conscious is showing me Ever since my early teens Knew this was my destiny World gotta feel my pain I'm no longer questioning When, where, or how I will Happen for when I get k**ed Never take my voice away Through record sales how I live View me as the realest n***a Poppin' pills, drinkin' liquor s**ed into the pressure makes me turn to my aggression Got a lot a homies dead Buried all in my head Cry inside every time I never stop to read my hands How could I fear a man? I've never been near a man All ya'll fraudulent You don't like it, k** me then I've never been near a man All ya'll fraudulent You don't like it, k** me then [Hook X2] [Verse 3:Ca$his] Sunk into a sea of self-misery Being dealt My only fear is lyrically Me not being felt Much hard, much smarter More true, f** you No matter what the conversation This is what it comes to Imagine staring at your friend Feeling they don't love you You ride till the end But they feel they above you I got a chosen few Name my homies in the song Defy all odds More for me when I'm gone I try to be a better man Baby if you understand My love for you is true But I ain't really love myself See nobody wanna help Better off to end this way Talking to my friends Weed, G's and Hennessy Came from a broken home Smoke till the dope is gone Listen to the words homie This ain't really just a song Came from a broken home Smoke till the dope is gone Listen to the words homie This ain't really just a song [Hook X2] [Outro:Ca$his] Serenade my life Shady Records on Ca$his This is real sh** Serenade my life I ain't scarred, I ain't runnin' I'm waitin', come get me n***a Live as a man Die as a man Yup!