Buffalo Black - Thoughts of a Closet Existential Nihilist lyrics

[Intro] You ever take way too many hallucinogens and find yourself wandering around uptown at four in the morning, handcuffed to a midget? I know, right? Yeah, yeah, me too [Verse 1] You, me and everyone we know is gone and dead, so why stick around? I'd rather decompose in the ground instead Let my mind drift, drink a fifth of vodka, chase it with some gold caps Strap myself down and let my mind react Redact reality with existential nihilism Close the shutters, live in clutter, thinking "motherf**er I ain't Ever getting out of this, I can't focus Long enough to consider options outside of cannabis" Walk the streets in a daze, looking like a mugger wrapped in Pea coats and cigarette smoke Reach the corner store, finish up the last drag Meanwhile Black Flag's echo blasted out the speakers while some teenagers ignored it They don't know sh** Had money in my pocket but I saw he had more ones Thought I'd be retired at 21, where's the fun gone? Pop into the store, psilocybin is kicking in [Hook] I don't know where I'm walking But I don't care, cause my future me is calling I never answer, cause I'm stuck in the past, while taking Sips from a flask while I'm winking through my d**h mask While I'm winking through my d**h mask While I'm winking through my d**h mask While I'm winking through my d**h mask While I'm winking through my d**h mask [Verse 2] Walk up to the counter with no will like a fatalist Only white boy in the store full of closet segregationists Define irony: we stole the land from Cherokee And here I am currently, paying with my currency Ten bucks a pack for their tobacco so I k** myself And it's a profit, had thought but I just lost it Feeling like an angel, seeing zippers in my vision Knowing in five minutes money won't make sense so I pay and dip Walk outside, light up, get myself a mouthful Contemplate my d**h with every square ounce full, I'm doubtful Of where I'll end, where I begin, and what exists What is life? What is sin? What's after d**h? Are we all kids? Is there a god? If there is, there must be a devil Yin and yang, black and white, day and night, liquid and metal Light another smoke, Zippo click, throw it in the coat s** it up little sh**head, you only live once (YOLO) [Hook] I'm not sure where I'm walking I'm looking back, cause my shadow is stalking Thinking in circles cause I'm high as a kite, and life is Like a song I'm singing to the end that goes like While I'm singing to my d**h and While I'm singing to my d**h and While I'm singing to my d**h and While I'm sinking to my d**h, man [Verse 3] Child-like delusions of a man with nothing to lose Nobody in the picture but himself; he knows it too Take another step and the borders of the sidewalk Fall apart, tip toe glowing concrete like I'm walking in the dark Not sure of the direction of my apartment I see the local homeless living in bottles and cigarette cartons Living on the fringes of society Straight faced and bus money's needed? Now they lie to me Fishing out the quarters that I'm saving for my bus pa** Drop it like a fishing lure, waiting for the bait to catch Pupils are black holes, ask 'em how their day has been They're happy to have found the cardboard that they're laying in Humble scum by society's standards But sometimes I wonder if any of 'em have found the answer I break the banter, turn and meet the wind with laughter While I walk into the sunrise, swallowing my cancer [Hook] I don't care where I'm walking I know you care, even though it's not your problem So let's sit and talk and mark my sighs with chalk And you'll be crying while you kiss me through my d**h mask While you kiss me through my d**h mask While you kiss me through my d**h mask While you kiss me through my d**h mask Keep my flag at half mast