Bruce McCulloch - Al Miller lyrics

Al Miller's heart is a lump of bu*ter It got that way 'cause he likes the taste of bacon and eggs Al Miller's been my friend since college Although they never saw him take cla**es Al Miller's always been a philosopher He says stuff like "Getting drunk with your landlord: Not a smart thing to do" "Don't trust a guy who Keeps his change in his wallet" Al Miller's wife rides the Nordic-Trac She Nordic-Trac's while Al eats his bacon and eggs Al Miller had a weird lump on his elbow Got it cut off, he never even sat down Al Miller's always been a philosopher He says stuff like "Get a clock radio, That's the kind of life you're gonna have" "Don't like your stir-fry? Send it back" Al Miller don't cater for gossip Yet he'll get in a cab and talk Egyptian politics Won't drink red wine or get an earring Never went through a phase where he dyed his hair black Al Miller's always been a philosopher He says stuff like "Getting drunk in a hotel? Well, then you better play 'Lodi'" He says stuff like "Bruce, why are you writing a song about me?" What he should say, as he looks in the mirror, is "I am Al Miller!"