Bruce McCulloch - Lil' Gay Waiter lyrics

I used to live in Calgary. I wasn't gay, but a lot of girls made me wish I was. A lot of guys made me wish I was, not because I wanted them, but, if they were hetero, I didn't want to be like them. I was thinking about this and I decided to do something I had never done before: have pasta for lunch. There are seven thousand pasta restaurants in the metropolitan Toronto area and this about a hero who works in one of them. Little gay waiter Working in a restaurant You want to help me But what is it you want? You come from a small town A lot like? Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays aren't good for you The kitchen doesn't like the way you pitch the soup You've got a special, but it isn't really yours Where did your cloth go? Here comes the rush Here comes the rush Coffee, salad,? Table four is breaking up Can they have seperate checks? Here comes the rush Here comes the rush Don't forget my heart Don't forget my tip jar Don't forget that High school was a maddening time Dressed sort of cool and your hair was long Freaked them out at the dance when you danced alone You didn't care, you were out of this one-high-school town Toronto bus and you were bound. Slept in your jean jacket the very first night. And somehow you became the man standing in front of me today. Little gay waiter Working in a restaurant You want to help me But what is it you want? You came out of the closet But no one was there for you No one was there for you You think it's too cliche, so you won't even get a cat. But you imagine where he'd be: on the couch, on the rug, on the chair. You have an imaginary cat. Sadly, you also have an imaginary boyfriend. You walk alone on Pride Day You think you could do this in? Are you gonna leave this world-cla** town? With that you put your placard down Stopped and stared at a pole Stopped and stared at an ad "Man with truck will move anything, no matter how big or small Please hire man with truck" Don't forget my rug Don't forget my ottoman Man with truck moves little gay waiter But somehow, near the edge of town, Their eyes locked, their hands locked They turned around Man with truck moved little gay waiter Two years later, they're still together Hmm