Brian Viglione - Mandy Goes to Med School lyrics

I've been feeling dull as a coat hanger Pretty as a picture of a patient on a fresh IV Giddy as a gang-banger with a set of sutures where his Magic Johnson ought to be Yes I'll tell you just the thing you need to be the next big thing Let's start in with a test of your intelligence And zest for the counter-productive Up and down and roundabout and out the back And keep your mouth shut tight The lights are staying out but no sweat I've got aim like a mack truck Guess how many fingers OK guess how many more I can fit there Guess right get the toaster but you know, miss, guessing gets you nowhere I've been baking cakes for the enemy I've been dying to find out the hard way I've been taking friends to the alleyway Two down now but who's counting anyway? Yes I can do everything you need from out of my new SUV All my work is guaranteed to last the length of your recovery Put away those pliers honey trust me cause I know the options How about a nine-month long vacation and a two-foot coffin I've been getting up close and intimate Some close calls but I'm getting into it In some states they say you can burn for it But I'll burn that bridge when I get to it It's not a bad thing To get professional It's got a nice ring Mandy goes to med school I've been taking tips from the government I've been getting damn good at hiding it Fifty bucks a month ought to cover it Two down now but who's gonna notice it? And if you show up and I am unavailable My partner Brian would love to take care of you He is a nice man Thoroughly reliable He's in a rock band And he goes to med school.....