Brian Posehn - Metal by Numbers lyrics

[Verse 1] They've k**ed metal twice, but it'll never really die It's kind of like a zombie or even that Jesus guy So grab your friends, some instruments, and start a metal band Sing about d**h, Egypt, and wizards, or rip off Ayn Rand We're coming to the end of the first verse Then comes the breakdown, a pretty chorus, then the second verse I know I just rhymed verse with verse That's because I'm so metal, b**h, where's your f**in' purse? [Breakdown] Breakdown In this part, it sounds like the singer wants to fight Breakdown Don't be scared, the chorus will make it all alright [Chorus] Metal by numbers, 1-2-3 Follow these rules and you'll see Cookie monster vocals or yell like a wookie Metal by numbers, cookie-cookie-cookie Metal by numbers, 1-2-3 This is the gay part with melody Even a baby could do it, just give it a try Sounds like Maiden or Metallica or Every Time I Die [Verse 2] I have to change my voice to make me sound mad If I tried to sing clean, it would make your ears sad This is the gang vocal and I'll tell you the truth It's four sweaty dudes yelling in a booth Music really s**s now, poseurs and trendy fools But compared to Coldplay or Nelly, even sh**ty metal rules It's metal by numbers, it's not arithmetic John Mayer, Kelly Clarkson, they all can s** my penis [Breakdown] [Chorus] [Bridge] Here it comes C'mon Alright Are you almost ready? Damn it, I missed it This is the mosh part, so mosh Or don't, it's your call I'm too old for it I just stand in the back and try not to get hit Watch out for the shirtless white trash guys They'll punch you and they stink And look out for the screamo kids trying out their karate kicks Dude, you look gay-tarded And look out for the giant Mexican guy, he looks really pissed I wish everybody would put their shirts back on, it's kind of gross Is this part still going? Here comes the lead break Nope, not yet Oh, here it comes, here it comes Go [Guitar Solo: Russ Parrish] [Chorus]