Brett Domino - Douche lyrics

Well I was hanging out round the back of Aldi On a Sunday they throw out all the stuff that's mouldy Except most of it's not actually mouldy, it's edible I take some of it home, just seems ethical It's certainly cheaper than doing a big shop I say cheaper, it's free, that's about the biggest price drop You're gonna get, I guess, but I digress It was about 8pm, more or less I was checking some bread when I saw her Bit stale, but it'd be fine with some water She was leaning on a wall, with a cigarette Her eyes were smoky, her hair was what you'd call brunette I plucked up the courage to introduce myself Can't remember what I said, it was casual but heartfelt I took her to Bella Italia I had antipasti, she had a lasagne We talked a bit, but she seemed to glaze over I asked her what was wrong and she said she had to go now I said, can I see you again? She just said bye I pushed her for an answer, and she replied You're not my type, you're too introverted You don't stand out in a crowd You're not my type, you're too una**ertive I like my guys to be loud She just wants a douche I said, I'm sorry I don't meet your requirements I know I'm not ripped like a s**y fireman But I refuse to believe you're just attracted to idiots You're better than that and in my experience If you're attracted to bad boys, then that's a bad choice She said, why? I said You don't have to be Sigmund Freud to work it out Besides, I can be a bad boy She just laughed & said, not in those corduroys I said, no, it's about striking a balance I can act tough, but without being callous I'm good at banter; I'll just tone it down a bit I can be s**y, without being a dick She said, prove it; get s**y for me Get s**y for me I said, OK, on the count of three