Brentalfloss - Paperboy With G-Rated Lyrics (feat. The Konami Kode) lyrics

What if Paperboy had lyrics? And what if I sang them accompanied by The Konami Kode A supa-cool video game cover band? It'd sound like this But first, I'd have to, ya know Ride over this little ravine And throw a newspaper at a target for some reason And then at the very end, there's all these people in bleachers By "all these people" I mean like three people in bleachers But they're cheering for some reason I don't really know what that was about, but whatever Here we go Don't you know me? I'm your paperboy Throwing bundles of newspaper joy, This neighborhood's a loony bin I'd rather throw the news in Compton If you live here, you're probably crazy Lock your dog up, stop that baby! I'm on duty, it's all about discipline Please don't strike me with that rolling pin I sometimes miss when I throw Sorry I broke your window Can't maneuver over sewer drains Which is funny, 'cause it never rains Oh, ho, ho! Oh, well! I didn't realize you were gonna break it down like this, Konami Kode! Okay, okay! You know, I, I kind of appreciate it I don't have to write lyrics over breakdowns You guys are just adding CD time! Said a-tick, said a-tock Said a-tick, said a-tock A-ticky and a-tocky and a-tick tock tick Dude, John is tearing it up on that ba**, man! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Also, mm-hmm Where you at, Paul? Mm-hmm! Oh, yeah! Great on the keys, I like that! Now, where's Nick? Oh-ho, oh-ho, okay You didn't have to show up right away Uh-huh Dude, Paperboy has never rocked like this This is exactly how that little 8-bit paperboy would have wanted it Anyway, uh, I'm gonna stop talking over this instrumental break Just to let you enjoy the jazz-fusion-rock loveliness That is the Konami Kode Just give ya a minute or two A man-fro Likes to tear it up on the drums Yeah! Can't stop riding, it's just what I do My bike pedals are glazed with superglue I'm on my bike, perpetually I lay in bed, bike lays with me On this side street, rules are strict and tight New subscribers, paint your house white I have nightmares, shaking at the wheel Then I wake up and do it for real They make me wear this backwards hat, Why are you rolling tires down your driveway, please don't do that! Now it's Sunday, I am done, I'm out No more papers, no mo' paper route I'm gonna get a job at Walmart