Brendon Urie - The Drunk History Of Fall Out Boy lyrics

It's summer of 2001; Joe meets Patrick and he's like “Yo, I know about music.” and Patrick's like “Yo, I know more about music” "That's impossible. Do you wanna start a band?” And Patrick's like “…Yeah… That's cool.” And then he's like “Yo, this is a book store, it's not a music store!” And then they met at Patrick's house. And Patrick's wearing shorts and socks and a hat. Patrick is playin' drums for some f**in' reason! And Pete's there, for some reason! They start playin' music together. And they're like “Oh, let's play some f**in' covers from some other bands!” It was like, Green Day and f**in' Misfits and f**in' Ramones! Pete said to Joe “Yo, we gotta change this sh** up! Yo, we've played all these bands; let's play sh** from Fall Out Boy.” And so Pete and Patrick are like “Yo, that's dope. But we need a f**in' drummer!” Because Patrick's playin' drums and he's a singer! Patrick's like “Yo! I got a soul voice!” And they're like “Wait, how do you have a soul voice!?!” And he's like “Yo, watch this! Yeah!” and they're like “Oh my god! That sounds like soul!” So they put it in the song and it was like “WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIGHT!” And then they're like: “Yo, this is f**in' perfect. This is Fall Out Boy.” And they made records like, Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. -It's called: Evening Out With Your Girlfriend. -With Your Ex-Girlfriend! It's called Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend! It's called Eating Out Your Girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like “Yo, what the f**! Yo, this is gonna be f**in' dope!” So they made a record, and it was called: Take This To Your Grave. They made it without a drummer! And they had like three, four drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like: Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from Toto… The fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something. And they were like, “Yo, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take this to your grave. f**in' record it.” And he did it, and he k**ed it. He was like,Bigadigadigalalululapssshhhh! k**ing the skins! Tapping the skins! Tapping the rims! Playing the sh**! k**ing these b**hes! Wrapping it out! (You're getting a f**ing tattoo right now! What the f** is going on?!) “We should get signed, to Fueled by Ramen. 'Cause these guys know what the f** is going on.” And they were like “Yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not f**in' hard. We will sign you guys." Pete was like ”Yo! We got this record that's f**in' dope dude! It's called Take This To Your Grave.“ Hey, it's gonna be called From Under The Cork Tree, it's gonna be f**in' huge. And then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic. These are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called (burp), this is called: Thanks for the Memories, 20 Dollar Nosebleed, and Sugar We're Going Down..” And they made this record that was f**ing dope and it f**ing hit on the charts. Like: one, two, three! Three, two one! Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! TEN TO ONE! From Under The Cork Tree sold like, four million records! Ten million records! Fifteen million records! And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. And Patrick was like “That's good!” Pete was like “Yo, f** you! I can do whatever I want!” Joe was like “Yeah, it's cool man, whatever… I don't give a sh**.” And then Andy was like “Eh… Cool!” And Pete was like "Makeup is f**in' great for a guy. Because it makes a guy look beautiful. Which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. And I wanna change that.I wanna make sure everybody thinks that guys are beautiful." (-I'm good so far. -You wanna spit one more time? -Yeah, I do. ...Shut the f**!..) Pete was like “Oh my god, I'm so embarra**ed about this dick pic!” And then I saw the dick pic, and I was like “Eh, it's not bad. It's not a bad dick. Let's be real.” We made Rolling Stone one issue before Fall Out Boy. And Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed! They were like “Yo, f** you guys!” They were like “Yo! Panic has the f**ing cover of Rolling Stone!?! Yo, f** these dudes, we're gonna f**ing go miles above! We're gonna hit every f**ing continent there is known to man!” But they didn't! Because they missed a second of time. Apparently, they were like: “Oh, sh** we got every continent.” And they didn't actually hit it. Dude, Pete was like "What the f**!” Oh, you didn't f**in' make the continent. It's like, f** you! So From Under The Cork Tree happens, we f**in' have three, four years of awesomeness! Like people are cumming on themselves, 'cause it's so big! So Fall Out Boy was like, so Patrick's like “Yo, we're gonna name this record 'From Under The Cork Tree' and From Infinity On High.” Pete was like “Yo, Folie à Deux means, the Theatric of Two.” Fall Out Boy was like “Yo, we gotta take a break” meaning, Pete was like “Yo, we gotta take a break bro” and Patrick's like, “I need time for my music! Uhhh!” And Joe's like “Yo, I need time to find the f**in' art dude I gotta find some f**in' meau-metal.” And Andy's like “I'm just gonna play with some f**in' metal bands.” And they were like, “Alright, this breaks been like three years long. Two years long. Three years long. Three and a half? We gotta f**in' come back man. We gotta come back STRONG! (-You took my beer away, what the f**?! -No, you poured it all over yourself! -Yeah, you poured it on yourself, man.) We gotta make this sh** legit. It's gonna be f**in' dope. It's gonna go f**in' sky high. We're gonna make a f**in' record that sails the skies. We're gonna call this record: "Save Rock And Roll."” So they made Alone Together, Light 'Em Up, Alone Together, Phoenix. And everyone's like “What the f**? You're working with this guy who f**in' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk!” (-What the f** is this on my shirt, did I puke on my shirt? -No, you poured beer all over yourself! -Oh god...) Pete was like: “Yo, were gonna end up on the tour with Panic! At The Disco and Twenty Pilots.” (Burp, spit) And that's all. And that's all that matters. And that is how the f**ing story goes.