Brendan Benson - Unfortunate Guy lyrics

(Benson) This is the sound of the world's smallest violin I've seen worse than the worst trouble you've been in You're the greatest sufferer that almost never was born You've always been the object of ridicule and scorn You hold the title of champion stepchild Your father died in prison and your mother ran wild Maybe you should write a book on pieces of confetti Coz it makes even Shakespeare's plots seem meaningless and petty You've had it rough you've made it very clear That you don't give up you've persevered (no matter how severe) Please don't go on you're gonna make me cry You've got to be The most unfortunate guy Don't go on you're gonna make us cry The most unfortunate guy I've heard some sad luck stories, but yours tops the list And you lead the race for the world's unluckiest You wear that crown of thorns and sit upon that throne You rule a kingdom of despair and you do it all alone You have our sympathy our deepest regrets You hold the key, which unlocks misfortune's chest You're giving us the poor mouth what do you stand to gain world's smallest violin I've seen worse than the worst trouble you've been in You're the greatest sufferer that almost never was born You've always been the object of ridicule and scorn You hold the title of champion stepchild Your father died in prison and your mother ran wild Maybe you should write a book on pieces of confetti Coz it makes even Shakespeare's plots seem meaningless and petty You've had it rough you've made it very clear That you don't give up you've persevered (no matter how severe) Please don't go on you're gonna make me cry You've got to be The most unfortunate guy Don't go on you're gonna make us cry The most unfortunate guy I've heard some sad luck stories, but yours tops the list And you lead the race for the world's unluckiest You wear that crown of thorns and sit upon that throne You rule a kingdom of despair and you do it all alone You have our sympathy our deepest regrets You hold the key, which unlocks misfortune's chest You're giving us the poor mouth what do you stand to gain You're soakin up the sun after selling us the rain