Some say the end is near Some say we'll see armageddon soon I certainly hope we will I sure could use a vacation from this Bull-sh**, three-ring Circus sideshow Of freaks here in this Hopeless f**ing Hole we call L.A The only way to fix it is To flush it all away Any f**ing time Any f**ing day Learn to swim See you down in Arizona Bay Fret for your figure And fret for your latte And fret for your lawsuit And fret for your hairpiece And fret for your Prozac And fret for your pilot And fret for your contract And fret for your car It's a bull-sh**, three-ring Circus sideshow Of freaks here in this Hopeless f**ing Hole we call L.A The only way to fix it is To flush it all away Any f**ing time Any f**ing day Learn to swim See you down in Arizona Bay Some say a comet will fall from the sky Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves Followed by fault lines that cannot sit still Followed by millions of dumb-founded dipsh**s and Some say the end is near Some say we'll see armageddon soon I certainly hope we will I sure could use a vacation from this Stupid sh** Silly sh** Stupid sh** One great big festering neon distraction I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied Learn to swim... Learn to swim... Learn to swim... Learn to swim... Mom's gonna fix it all soon Mom's coming 'round to put it back the way it oughta be Learn to swim... Learn to swim... Learn to swim... Learn to swim... f** L. Ron Hubbard And f** all his clones f** all these gun-toting Hip gangster wanna-bes Learn to swim... Learn to swim... Learn to swim... Learn to swim... f** retro anything f** your tattoos f** all you junkies And f** your short memory Learn to swim... Learn to swim... Learn to swim... Learn to swim... f** smilie glad-hands with hidden agendas f** these dysfunctional, insecure actresses Learn to swim... Learn to swim... Learn to swim... Learn to swim... I'm praying for rain I'm praying for tidal waves I wanna see the ground give way I wanna watch it all go down Mom, please flush it all away I wanna see it go right in and down I wanna watch it go right in Watch you flush it all away Yeah, time to bring it down again Yeah, don't just call a pessimist Try and read between the lines And I can't imagine why you wouldn't Welcome any change, my friend I wanna see it come down Plug it down s** it down Flush it down