Bob Rivers - Who Put The Stump? lyrics

I'd like to find the guy Who done me wrong And stuck my f*get arse up On this Christmas tree. Who put the stump In my rump-ba-bump-ba-bump? Who took and jammed it In my ram-a-lam-a-ding dong? Who stood the wood Where I poop-she-poop-she-poop? Who put the stick Up my hipty-dipty-dip? Who was that man? He shoved it up my can And left me stranded on this Christmas tree. (Yeah ...) When this angel heard Chop-ba-ba-bop, di-chop-ba-ba-bop, A dreadful fear went right into my heart. Those pine tree needles sting me, Ram-a-jam-a-ram-a-jammin' in my ding dong. You'll never know how much that smarts. (Hooah ...) So who put the stump In my rump-ba-bump-ba-bump? Who took and jammed it In my ram-a-lam-a-ding dong? Who stood the wood Where I poop-she-poop-she-poop? Who put the stick Up my hipty-dipty-dip? Who took that bush And crammed it in my tush? He made this angel beg for mercy, please. (Yow ...) Each night when I'm alone, Scratchity scratchity scratchity scratchity Scratchity scratchity shoop ... It sets my tiny bottom all aglow. And every time I wiggle, Slipty-din-de-din, slipty-din-de-din, A little further in it goes. (Ohhh/Yeah ...) (Rump-ba-bump-ba-bump Ram-a-lam-a ding dong Slipty-din-de-din Poopity poopity shoop ...)