Bo Burnham - What's Funny lyrics

(My ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish Uh, she used to like to dress up as herself and then act like a f**ing b**h all the time) My show is a little bit silly, and a Little bit pretentious, so like Shakespeare's willy or Noam Chomsky wearing a strap-on It's also a little bit gay, and a Little bit offensive, like Thanksgiving Day or Noam Chomsky wearing a strap-on So put your cellphones to vibrate And put your vibrators to cellphone mode Welcome to the show, it goes a little bit like this Joke... exactly Welcome to my flow, it flows a little bit like this With a rap and a diss then a Swift rap in the wrist, a rap in a kiss Like Hershey's wrappin' a Kiss, sh** I got a show that'll test you kids And it asks one question and the question is What's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? Funny, fu-funny What's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? Funny Oh yeah Humor is often linked to shared experience Like a guy gets up and says, "Have you noticed that public restrooms have really inefficient hand dryers? " "Oh my God, yes I have Ha ha ha ha, really good point They should fix that It's good to know that somebody finally gets me 'Cause my wife divorced me Which has consciously forced me to lose all sense of self So it's nice to think about hand dryers And not that cheating who*e" Because stand-up comedy is actually pretty easy If you're an Asian comic, just get up and say, "My mother's got the weirdest f**ing accent" Then just do a Chinese accent 'Cause everybody laughs at the Chinese accent Because they privately thought that your people were laughable and now you've given them the chance to express that in public Ah yeah, if you're a musical comic Just give them a little weird voice inflection Then take a Viagra And slap them with a rock-hard misdirection What's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? Funny, fu-funny ... Tourettes! What's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? Funny Oh, and the audience says When I was a baby, maybe I laughed at people jiggling keys Now I'm older and bolder and just get mad because I notice that the keys are to a Hummer f** my life, I don't f** my wife So f** my wife, and f** my life And my son is gay, but not sitcom gay Daughter's a who*e, like another girl that used to be her mother But the marriage made her Miss Mary Americana I want a teen, but that's screaming prima donna But the radical feminists made my wife a man Oh, and if I die happy The situation Will be auto-erotic Asphyxiation I hate my life and it hates me back And my friend is black But I don't know what to call him So I just call him ... What up, Jamal? Even though his name is Steve I hate my job, I hate my life I hate my kids, I hate my wife Jews would know I do it Judas beat me to it I'm slowly slipping into a solipsistic coma And I masturbate because I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to f** me! What's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? Funny, fu-funny (Pop) It's a boy What's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? Funny, yeah Hopefully this (Fart)