Bo Burnham - Ironic lyrics

(I believe in the Zodiac Yeah, I do, I'm a Leo, I love Titanic Uh, this is something a little bit mor- Something a little bit morbidly ironic, my grandmother Uh, she was a Cancer and She was actually k**ed by a giant crab This is a song about the idea of irony So strap in!) My dog's stomach was very upset So I put him in the car and we went to the vet And on our way to the vet I k**ed a cat Hey, I said isn't that ironic? I adopted a child from overseas To rescue him from child labor factories And on his very first birthday, we went to Build-a-Bear workshop Isn't that ironic? Isn't that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C? A water park has burned to the ground, and a A tow truck has broken down I always used to cry when I laughed And then I was raped by a clown Isn't that ironic? I was watching Al Gore on CNN He was talking and talking and talking and then Out of boredom, my pet polar bear shot himself Isn't that ironic? I dated an animal rights activist And one day, she got really pissed Because I was eating veal that was wrapped in "pita" bread ("PETA"? f** it) Isn't that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C? I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch And I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncle's "pull-out" couch Isn't that ironic? I-R-O-N-I-C Yeah, if everyday you play the board game Risk You've probably never taken a Risk in your life And Monopoly has far from a stranglehold on the board game market A little kid died from suffocation when he choked on a game piece from Operation And I can't grow a beard That one's not ironic, that one's just sad Bob Barker got all of my pets pregnant My grandfather had Alzheimer's And one day we were