Bo Burnham - The Breakup Song lyrics

[Spoken:] I can remember the conversation like it was yesterday. She came out of the shower, hair wet, everything was wet. If you haven't seen a shower: It's a thing with water, and it covers you, and she had just been in that. She came right out of it and she looked me in the eyes and she said: [Girl:] It's over We shouldn't fight to stay together just to fight again It's over We're unhappy We need to take a break from us to make us right again And even though it's not gonna go any further I swear I don't regret a second of it And when the dust has settled I hope we can still be friends [Bo:] And then I said EAT A DICK EAT A DICK EAT A fu*kING DICK, b*tch! PUT ON YOUR DICK EATING BIB! GET READY TO GOBBLE A DICK UP! IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS DICK, b*tch EAT A fu*kING DICK, b*tch [Girl:] (Starting to think I made the right decision here) Look, you're angry I can see that But you don't need to make this harder than it has to be I try to speak to you But you won't listen- [Bo:] EAT A DICK [Girl:] Hold on, please just let me- [Bo:] EAT A DICK [Girl:] Oh my God Honestly, are you f**ing five? I try to talk this out, and you refuse to even listen to me I'm saying how I'm feeling And you're saying "eat a dick" Does that seem like a mature response to you? [Bo:] NO BUT SEE I THINK THE ISSUE IS I'VE GOT MY FATHERS TEMPER AND I'M EMOTIONALLY INARTICULATE SO RATHER THAN BEING HONEST AND VULNERABLE I'VE BEEN A QUICK SWITCH BECAUSE I'M HURTING INSIDE AND I'M TRYING TO HIDE IT, SO [Crying:] EAT A DICK, b*tch EAT A DICK, b*tch EAT A fu*kING DICK, b*tch [Girl:] I didn't think you'd cry for me I didn't think you cared I thought you were lashing out in anger Now I see you're scared I'm scared, too Maybe we can work this out And not break up [Bo:] Really? [Girl:] NO, LICK MY CLIT LICK MY MOTHERfu*kING CLIT YOU THINK THREE LOUSY TEARS OFFSETS THREE YEARS OF sh*t I DESERVE BETTER THAN YOU FORGET ME BETTER THAN SCREW SORRY YOU'RE NOT WHAT I NEED, HUN LICK THIS CLIT THEN LEAVE, SON