Bo Burnham - Straight White Male lyrics

I have problems in my life, so I wrote a song about the problems in my life, and hopefully some of you can relate to it. Walking around, I've got no one to talk to There's everyone, and then there's just me If I could change, don't you think that I'd do it God only knows why he cursed me to be a straight white male I state my problems other people roll their eyes Three trips to the mall and zero khakis in my size I've never been the victim of a random search for d** But you can't say my life is easy until you've walked a mile in my UGGs Straight white male, I know the road looks tough ahead The women want rights The gays want kids Can't you just leave us alone? And also, no, to the things you asked for Everyone thinks that I've got it easy Just 'cause it's true, doesn't mean that it's right So pull up a chair, and put down your pitchfork Give me a chance to show you what it's like to be a straight white male The churches never made me Feel ashamed of who I am But I get e-mails from Netflix that g-mail doesn't mark as spam My country's Constitution was hand-written by my race But my wife bought me the brand new iPhone with an iPod Touch's case (it doesn't fit that phone) Straight white male, I know the road looks tough ahead The women want rights The blacks want not to be called the blacks Can't you just leave us alone? And also, no, to the things you asked for No Straight white male, I know the road looks tough ahead The women want rights The African-Ameri-it doesn't work for the rhythm of this song We used to have all the money and land We still do but it's not as fun now