Bo Burnham - Lower Your Expectations (If You Want Love) lyrics

[Intro] We all want love How many single ladies out there, looking for love tonight? Wooo!!! Yeah, woo that sadness out Theres more where that came from Ladies, I know what you want... want... want [Verse 1] You want a guy that's sweet, a guy that's tough A feminist who likes to pay for stuff The kind of guy that gets along with your friends Without being attracted to any of them A good boy, a bad boy; a good bad boy; A half good, half bad, half boy Loves your brothers is sensitive but not weak and Is a great lover, calls your mother on the weekend [Bridge 1] You might think this guy only exists in your mind Guess what: You're Right! [Chorus] If you want love, lower your expectations a few Because Prince Charming would never settle for you If you want love, just pick a guy and love him And if he's got a thing for feet say "f** it" sweep me off them [Interlude] Now the good things is that at least men have very realistic expectations for women. He said, sarcastically setting up a second verse in a comedy song [Verse 2] You want a girl that's nice, a girl that's not Obsessed with her looks, but is insanely hot The kind of girl that you can show to your folks Loves the movies you like and always laughs at your jokes A real girl, a hot girl; a really hot girl; A brand new, really hot, real doll Wants to impress you, doesn't care if you notice Only ever uses you to tickle her throat with... [Bridge 2] You might think this girl only exists in your mind But she's real but last week she died [Chorus] If you want love, lower your expectations a lot You might think your dick is gift but I promise it's not If you want love, just pick a girl and love her Then whip out your dick and let the girl you love decline the offer [Verse 3] I don't want a neat freak, I don't want a slob Somebody with bedhead and a dead end job Cause I won't settle for less than perfect We want perfect children a perfect life A perfect husband or a perfect wife But deep down we know, we don't deserve it, but... We all deserve love even on the days when we aren't are best, cause we all s** but love can make us s** less We all deserve love, it's the very best part of being alive And I would know I just turned 25