Bo Burnham - Intro/Hell Yeah lyrics

[Intro 1: computer voice] Thank you for coming You are here because you want to laugh and you want to forget about your problems But I cannot allow it You should not laugh You should not forget about your problems The world is not funny We are all dying The world is not funny 12% of the world's population does not have access to clean drinking water The world is not funny Guy Fieri owns two functioning restaurants The world is not funny So then Now that we understand the context, now that we realize how terribly unfunny the world is... Let's do this [Intro 2: Bo Burnham] Entertainers are not here to help you They are here to control you Never listen to them Never give them what they want And most importantly, never... ...MAKE SOME fu*kING NOISE! [Verse 1: Bo Burnham (audience)] Ladies! Ladies, if you feel me, say hell yeah! (Hell yeah!) Fellas! Come on, fellas, if you feel me, say hell yeah! (Hell yeah!) Virgins! If you haven't felt a person, say hell yeah! (Hell yeah!) If you can divide by zero, let me hear you say hell yeah! (Hell yeah!) No you can't! Mathematically impossible Listen, don't be Pavlovian. I'm looking for actual answers here, trying to gather information... Let's go! If you like drinking booze, let me hear you say hell yeah! (Hell yeah!) If you like smoking weed, let me hear you say hell yeah! (Hell yeah!) Gotcha. Get these motherf**ers! Pot is ruining America!... Psych If you don't give a f** about the law, let me hear you say f** the police! (f** the police!) If that seems oversimplified to you, let me hear you say it's a really tough job and they're doing their best! (...) If you know nothing about the conflict between Israel and Palestine, and thus feel super uncomfortable about weighing in on it if you've read about it, let me hear you say...no comment! (No comment!) Good call. I have no idea what's going on over there. What are they fighting about? They have similar hats If you wanna start the show, let me hear you say hell yeah! (Hell yeah!) If my name's Bo...whoops I think you're done with this call-and-response sh** That's what I thought You want me to get introspective? Let's get introspective! [Verse 2: Bo Burnham] I can't wrap my mind around exactly why I'm here I know you paid money, I should be funny Other than that, I don't know why I'm here To make you laugh, right? That's only half right Look at the world, I don't know why I'm here All this laughter can't feed starving Africans I just hope I don't get more from this than you do I would love to tell you that everything is fine You wanna be happy, well, get in line Yeah, this is almost musically incoherent at this point But y'all ain't seen a comedy show like this in your f**ing life And for good reason It gets old after a few minutes You'll see! Let's get this show going! Let's get this show started! Okay! One, two, three, four-- --so I was at the dentist the other day... And nothing funny happened, so I was like "don't mention that on stage"