Bo Burnham - Country Song lyrics

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Bo Burnham - Country Song lyrics

[Spoken] Any big fans of country music out there? Yeah. Oh, some people extending my name - "boo" - that's also approval. I think country music gets a bad rep, ya know? Why is it that when Bruce Springsteen sings about a f**ing turnpike, it is "art," and then when someone sings about a horse, it's dumb, inherently. I think some of the greatest songwriters of all time are country artists. Dolly Parton... Willie Nelson, ya know? And if you're writing honestly, that is art, and I would never bash that. The problem is with a lot of modern country music, what is called "stadium" country music - the sort of Keith Urban brand of country music - is that it is not honest. It is the exact opposite of honest [Music begins] Where instead of people actually telling their stories, you got a bunch of millionaire metros**uals that have never done a hard day's work in their lives. But they figured out the words and the phrases that they can use to pander to their audience. And they list the same words and phrases off, sort of mad-lib style, raking in millions of dollars from actual working-cla** people. You know the words, you know know the phrases, phrases like: [Verse 1] A dirt road A cold beer A blue jeans A red pickup A rural noun, simple adjective No shoes No shirt No Jews You didn't hear that Sort of a mental typo [Pre-Chorus] I walk and talk like a field hand But the boots I'm wearing cost three grand I write songs about riding tractors From the comfort of a private jet [Chorus] I can sing in Mandarin And still know I'm pandering Hunting deer and chasing trout A Bud Light with the logo facing out Hear that subtle mandolin That's textbook panderin' I own a private ranch that I rarely use I don't like dirt [Spoken] One verse, one chorus in the bag Now it's time to talk to the ladies I'm hoping my Southern charm offsets all these rape-y vibes I'm puttin' out [Verse 2] Good girl In a straw hat With her arms out in a corn field That is a scarecrow Thought that was a human woman, sorry A cold night A cold beer A cold jeans Strike that last one I'm wanting you I hope you're feeling me Subtextually [Pre-Chorus] We go to bed, you doze off So I take your country girl clothes off I put my hands on your body It feels like hay, it's a f**ing scarecrow again [Chorus] Like Mike's Evander-ing f** your ears, I'm pandering I write songs for the people who do Jobs in the towns that I'd never move to Legalize gerrymandering Tolerate my pandering You got a beautiful mouth I got a beautiful (dick) Y'all dumb motherf**ers want a key change? Thematically meandering Emphatically pandering I got a tight grip on my demo's balls Say the word "truck," they jizz in their overalls You don't know what land you're in I'm in the land of pandering And I'll be upfront I do what I do 'cause I'm a total f**in' c*nt-ry boy