Bo Burnham - My Whole Family... lyrics

(Uh, thanks. Umm...welcome to my show; it's called, "If You Sing Along I'll f**ing k** You." Uh, this is a song.) Everytime I go to dinner it seems like I'm getting a little bit thinner I'll sit down at the breakfast table I can talk; they're not able When I look at them I find there's a single question on their mind. I wish it could go back to the way it was its not easy now because... My whole family thinks I'm gay I guess it's always been that way. Maybe its cause of the way that I walk, that makes them think that I like...boys That I like boys The goddamn question just wont go away and I get asked every single day but the way they ask it is not a disguise, like "How was your day? Do you like to kiss guys?" (That's...funny) This is the worst, baby this was my fear Now their opinions are crystal clear, because My whole family now is shocked, I'm in the closet and the door is locked. Now my glory days are gone, I was John Elway now I'm Elton John. My whole family now suspects, Watching Spongebob had side-effects. I'm not gay and that's what I said, If I'm gay, hey God strike me dead. Just cause I'm afraid of the snow, Or my favorite color is, the rainbow. I don't mean to yell but i fear i must, Cause I'm losing the people that i thought i could trust. Because, even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay...motherf**er You all probably think I'm gay, Man this song is counterproductive ... la la la la la… Because my whole family thinks I'm gay, What did they know anyway? You gotta look right through the haze, Easy-Bake oven was just a phase. My whole family thinks I'm queer, That is all I ever hear, But I've been as straight as a ramp, If you dont count Bible camp.