Bo Burnham - My Whole Family... (live) lyrics

(Uh, thanks. Umm...welcome to my show; it's called, "If You Sing Along I'll f**ing k** You." Uh, this is a song.) Everytime I go to dinner It seems like I'm getting a little bit thinner I'll sit down at the breakfast table I can talk; they're not able When I look at them I find There's a single question on their mind I wish it could go back to the way it was It's not easy now because... My whole family thinks I'm gay I guess it's always been that way Maybe its cause of the way that I walk That makes them think I like.... boys That I like boys The goddamn question just won't go away And, I get asked it every single day But, the way they ask is not a disguise Like "How was your day? Do you like to kiss guys?" (That's...funny) This is the worst; baby, this was my fear Now, their opinions are crystal-clear because.... My whole family now is shocked I'm in the closet, and the door is locked Now my glory days are gone I was John Elway; now I'm Elton John My whole family now suspects That watching Spongebob had side-effects I'm not gay, and that's what I said If I'm gay, hey God, strike me dead.... Just cause I'm afraid of the snow Or my favorite color is: the rainbow I don't mean to yell, but I fear I must Cause I'm losing the people that I thought I could trust Because.... even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay.... motherf**er You all probably think I'm gay Man, this song is counterproductive.... La la la la la.... Because.... my whole family thinks I'm gay What do they know anyway? You gotta look right through the haze Easy-Bake Oven was just a phase My whole family thinks I'm queer That is all I ever hear But I've been as straight as a ramp If you dont count Bible camp