Bo Burnham - High School Party (live) lyrics

High school party, senior year Boys and girls are all sippin' on beer I like soda, where's the soda? Am I the only f**ing person here that likes soda? I see her from across the crowd I said the party is bumpin' and the music is loud You're really drunk and you're lookin' sad... It's like a date rape ad Girl, then we start to dance and Girl, baby this is romance Girl, I'm startin' to grow down below sh**, why did I wear sweat pants? Girl, you're body's like what conjunction junction That's a fine a**, bu*t (but) I'm like a cashew in a lollipop Just keep s**in' till you get to the nut And I said let's rob an Asian kitchen Or stroll down the block Either way girl, we're takin' a wok (..Nothing?) You're gonna love me the way my uncle did Except you're not gonna go to court for doin' it Be a guillotine or my girl instead Either way you're givin' me head I'm gonna love you, baby the right way Shorty with a body lookin' hotty when I say girl When I say girl We go into the bedroom exchanging nervous laughter Why's it called dry humping, if I always need a towel after? You spread your naked legs and I see that wound that never healed Even though you're yellin' for me, I can tell your lips are sealed We're both aware of my erection, you ask if I have protection I say: "Well no, I tried to buy them once I was in the convenience store My old babysitter walked in I had to hide them near the Tic-Tac's I was so embarra**ed, I peed myself a little bit" Girl, girl Insert a euphemism A s**y mental prism Increase my pelvic rhythm Fill you with my syllogism I know your body and I know how to please you Don't thank me, thank Wikipedia Guys don't go down, well I am- What the f** is that? I should have brought my diagram Ooh... Did you feel that? That was an educated guess Ooh... Did you feel that? Uh, that one was a sneeze, my bad High school party, senior year None of that happened 'cause I wasn't invited..