Bo Burnham - Bo Fo Sho (live) lyrics

Walkin' my poodles, man it never gets old With my dogs on my leash I got b**hes on the hold A first aids kit? That's a rhesus monkey I bust more nuts than a pistachio junkie! Get more a** than a giant donkey stable Got more lines than Whitney Houston's coffee table I get more head than grammar school lice I'm like a walkin' glacier I'm so decked out with ice Did you poop a virgin? cause that sh** is tight Jack ain't black, Barry ain't white I do d** in the bedroom, lie on your back Cause I got the pipe and you got the crack Though I'm s**ually straight, you're bound to find I'm mentally gay, cause I'll blow your mind The parents be snickerin' "he shouldn't have written it" But I'm constipated, couldn't give a sh** [Chorus] My name is bo fo sho A born Bostonian Aryan librarian at the WORDsmithsonian The rap is scattered, it hides its ingenuity I gave it this little part to give it continuity The fellas say Hey moron pa** the gin Cause I'm an OXYmoron breathing OXYgen Give me the bottle, I'll chug two thirds Cause you b**hes know fractions speak louder than words And the ladies say Hey fellas I'm keepin it tight and if you play ur cards right you can have me tonight Should I blow you or beat you, bra** or percussion? Oh stop, PERIOD end of discussion [Chorus] Walking through the garden with food at my feet, picked up the celery but dropped the beat (beet) We're in the hood ill take what you give me Was Einstein's theory good relatively A smart queen's kingdumb, it doesnt mix A litter of literates, a bunch of moby dicks "get thee to a punnery" o-just to-pheelia Take you with a condom "stainless-steal" ya Half a pound of turkey breast, half a pound of chicken tits Why are only crackers staying at the Ritz? Poverty, racism, isn't it strange That only the homeless are beggin for change? I shocked Sherlock What, son? (Watson) (watt, son?) Rosa Parks didn't call "shotgun"! Here's a bit of irony A Ford Focus driver has ADD How'd I come to master all these things? Like a tampon thief, I had to pull some strings