Bo Burnham - Shakespeare lyrics

William Shakespeare, uh William Shakespeare was a verbal cun-tortionist He could bend his words in the way a contortionist bends his frame I'd hope that he could with a name like William Shakespeare William Shakespeare, some, some of you seem lost, look Say your name was Robert Frost and you couldn't write, that would s** Well, I guess you could always go as Bobby Frost and own an ice cream truck He was balanced like a simile and could stack metaphor five, six at a time and rhyme into the very last line of a soliloquy which finally said outright with a previous 77 rolling hinting at He had puns and quips and tons of trips of sons with ships with nuns with hips and buns and lips, but I had something that Shakespeare never had Penicillin See, it hadn't been invented yet, back then they only had "quill"-icillin Hey, it's not that hard, bard I'm sorry, I got a bone to pick with you, William So if you could just listen up here and listen to this theater queer's theater query here and maybe act like a real artist for once in your life say Van Gogh, and lend me your ear You're not a writer You're a writer like f**ing Hulk Hogan's a street fighter You write these dramas You accumulate your wealth You hold nature as to a mirror of yourself Just because you're messed up doesn't mean we are too Just because you want to bang your mom doesn't mean Danish princes do, what Who? Yeah, Hamlet, Shakespeare, that's right, the young prince whose father died at the hands of his uncle with whom his mother lied, sound familiar? It's the f**ing Lion King You stole from a Disney movie, you androgynous douche, what's next The story of a French king on a quest to find his lost son, Nemo? Oh, and by the way, poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f**ing sense make