Blood Freak - Boarding House lyrics

After another allnighter of k**ing Turkey makes movie madness pit stop rental For some goretits and blood spilling I tried to rent 'Don't Go In The House' But some dipsh** beat me to it Instead I got stuck with something called Boarding House!!! Alone on the racks it sat stinking like slime Battered, worn out, and beat up A forgotten VHS turd in time Said it starred someone named 'Kala**u' And directed by 'John Wintergate I wondered and shouted out loud 'WHO???' I did not expect what I saw on my TV My brain began to instantly rot As new heights of lunacy flashed before me Early 80's shot-on-video pioneering trash Piled on the gore, filth, and b**bage So greasy and stupid it gave me a rash Cheesy commodore 64 opening credits With loud obnoxious sounds grating my ears And really testing my limits Tells the tale of the cursed 'Hoffman house' A premise so flimsy and weak I hope a chick at least takes off her blouse Boarding House!!! Where the rent won't k** you But something else will!!! Boarding House!!! Along with the new residents Something else moved in!!!! Camaro driving sleazeball re-opens the place Pathetic rat-tail sporting, weasel looking ba*tard 'Tom G Warrior with AIDS' with an even uglier face Ad in paper looking for 'beautiful women with no ties' 1980's s*uts arrive firing up the Jacuzzi 'n bikinis I really couldn't wait until everybody dies!!! Slasher-style k**ings, bad dreams and pie fights Bad editing, fake accents, dime-store gore fx Wow this flick really f*cking bites!!! But the more I watched, the more my sanity fled Sitting through this sh**bucket of a flick Meant that people would soon be dead!!! Boarding House!!! Where are you Kala**u, John Wintergate And the others??? Boarding House!!! You've taken 95 minutes of my life away So how do I than you???